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Dilemmas Of A Mom Of Twins

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Being a mom of twins is a unique experience. There is double the joy and double the pleasure. There is also double the nervousness and double the guilt. As a mom of twins, not a single day passes by when I am not hit with different kinds of dilemmas. Sharing here, a glimpse of my mind and my life from my initial days of motherhood. 

I see my boy crying at the pitch of his voice. I run towards him nervously only to realize that he is hungry and needs to be fed. As I prepare to feed him, my girl starts howling. I wonder what could be the reason and suddenly I see her dripping diaper. She has pooped and is calling me to clean her.  Thus,  there I stand in the middle of the two; not able to decide whom do I pick first. I realize this is just the beginning of a whole range of dilemmas that will hit me each day, from now on.

My daughter is learning to crawl. Now, being a perfectionist as it seems,  she practices the same even while sleeping. On one occasion she was about to have her ‘great fall’ from the bed. Thankfully this ‘humpty’ was saved by her ‘king father’. From then on, I make her sleep very close to me so that I can feel her movements every minute. My boy, on the other hand,  sleeps peacefully and doesn’t need that much of bed time preparations. He sleeps at a little distance from both me and my daughter. Though this sleeping set-up works best for both my kids, I lie there on the bed,  with my hands on my girl and eyes on my boy.

mom of twins

As a mom of twins, I often find myself divided. My hands hold one, and my eyes stick to another. While my heart loves both equally, my mind and body stand split.

This division is worsened by an ugly monster, called ‘guilt’. So when I choose to pick my boy to feed him while delegating the task of cleaning my girl to someone else, I can find this monster greeting me with a sly grin. I realize this monster has found a home in my heart and plans to stay there for long.

As a mom of twins, I fight an internal battle everyday. I combat my fears of being partial. I strive against the power of comparison. I earnestly try to be fair and just. And I know I will probably have to fight this battle all through my life.

So while I thank God for being kind and blessing me with two little bundles of joy, I  also secretly pray to him. I supplicate the almighty, each night, to grant me wisdom and strength so that I can beat my dilemmas, emerge victorious in this battle and raise my kids with unconditional love and affection.


Are you a mom of twins? Could you relate with this piece ? Share your views in the comments below. Also follow me on Instagram to have a glimpse of my life with twins.

Disclaimer: This post was originally published for a site called Mrigaa.com. The site isn’t functional anymore, so posting here for you all to read.


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Comments:

45 responses to “Dilemmas Of A Mom Of Twins”

  1. Rashi Roy says:

    I can only imgaine what you go through everyday! Keep up the spirit and enjoy every bit of it 🙂

  2. mjothi says:

    I always wonder how mom of the twin identify and care the right one if they resemble so close. You are lucky to have boy and girl! Else the same kid would be fed two times, bathed 2 times and all double dhamaka. Lol

  3. I’ve my daily struggles as a mother to a three year old but I can imagine how difficult it must be for you to handle both the kids simultaneously. Having said that, I love the fact that you advocate using a baby carrier.

  4. purbajune says:

    A very heartwarming post. Loved the picture ❤️

  5. I feel that I have tough times with T, but after reading this I can only imagine what all you might have been.through. ignore the guilt here. All moms are best . PERIOD

  6. Though I don’t have twins but I can very well imagine what you must be experiencing each day. Loved reading about your confession with the twins. Lots of love to them…

  7. sukrisblog says:

    Oh my!! I can understand your situation. It is pretty much hard to take care of single kid and you have both your hands full. Keep the spirits high- this time will also pass. I know of my cousin who has twin sons. They had a whale of time wondering if they fed the first or the second or did they feed the first twice. Those hilarious situations slowly have become memories to cherish now that they have grown up.

  8. Bikramjit says:

    It is a rare experience only few people have. Love, joy, challenge and more

  9. MeenalSonal says:

    Raising a child without dilemmas is a great challenge and you are raising twins. You are doing great job, and these little dilemmas will also not linger any more as you have wisdom.

    Cheers
    MeenalSonal from AuraOfThoughts
    #MyFriendAlexa #MeenalSonalReads

  10. You know I wanted to have twins. I so very wanted. But right now after managing my little munchkin I can understand how tough it must have been for you. Loved your post

  11. Prerna Wahi says:

    I don’t have twins but thoroughly enjoyed your write up. My single son is a handful so I can imagine what it must be like to handle two of the same age!

  12. I struggle with one child, so I can’t even imagine your dilemma and struggle! I have often been told by mothers of twins how difficult it is when both kids demand attention at the same time. Good luck to you! And love to your little munchkins!

  13. aditi says:

    Bringing up twins is a challenging joy. Thanks for sharing your experience:)

  14. I struggle with one child, so I can’t even begin to imagine your struggle! I have heard from many mothers of twins that it’s quite a struggle to manage twins especially when both demand attention at the same time. Good luck to you Charu and love to your little Munchkins.

  15. Disha says:

    I can only imagine your dilemmas. Caring for two kids at same time would be double the efforts and double the fun.

  16. Oh God, I can connect to this post so well, being a mommy of twin girls. Glad to connect with you here 🙂

  17. Storyteller says:

    I know it looks cute but handling twins is a 48 hrs job in a day. Even after these challenges I want to have twins too. Loads of love to ur kids

  18. You’ve covered dilemmas I never even thought of!

  19. I visualized while reading through the post. you are doing a wonderful job but it’s difficult to make distance form the ‘monster’ that reside inside. Well, as mothers lets just hope that they won’t remember what we did and didn’t!!! oh wait…turns out they are too small to remember!!! so keep going mamma…you still have time not to judged by your kids.:)
    #mannreads

  20. mylittleduniya says:

    On momma, I get so so tired with my only one. How do you manage the two (plus the blog) ?? HAts off!!!

  21. Anks says:

    Mom guilt hits everyone and yes, I can imagine how intense it must be for you. I follow you on Insta and see the happy kiddos and a happy mom. So yes, you must be doing something right 🙂

  22. Deepa says:

    Being a mom is not easy and your work is double. So I can completely understand what you are going through. Hats of to all twin moms.

  23. shravmusings says:

    You have a beautiful challenge in hand actually

  24. roysashwata says:

    I can so relate to your post as my sister also is a mom of twins. I have practically seen her go through similar experiences with her twins.

  25. Heartfelt post. It gets difficult to manage at times but that doesn’t make you a bad mom or something. You are doing a great bringing up both of them well.

  26. Shree Janani says:

    Ha ha! That was such an adorable post. I’m sure you are doing a great job out of it. Good luck being a super mom!

  27. I have heard from many mothers of twins that it’s quite a struggle to manage twins especially when both demand attention at the same time. I struggle with one child, so I can’t even begin to imagine your struggle! Good luck to you Charu and love to your little Munchkins.

  28. I can only wish you lots of strength and patience to enjoy your rollercoaster journey being a mom of twins and I love reading your posts, you already know that. 😘😘

  29. mylittleduniya says:

    Ohh mom, I am unable to manage with my only one, how do you manage the two along with your blog? Hats off!!!

  30. I can imagine your dilemmas and struggles. I found it difficult to take care of one child. You have to look after two.

  31. Oh it must be such an adventure to raise two cuties! Love this post 🙂

  32. When I read the title , I was afraid this was going to be about identifying between the two identical twins. It turns out that a twin mom has to face dilemmas much more complex than the identity. How do you find the strength to do all this?

  33. Your kids are double cute

  34. Haimanti says:

    I can feel your dilemma… You are doing a great job… Raising twins is twice as hard as raising a single child… It requires a lot of mental as well as physical strength… Your instincts might not be always, but majority of the time they are… So a take breathe and enjoy being the mother of two cute little kids.. Best wishes for your crazy journey 😊

  35. I can very well understand it being a mother.. Keep up the spirit.. #hellomomyread

  36. I always used to wonder ..how do the mom of twins manage both..but trust me on this ..whether you are a mom of one or two ..the monster of guilt is not going to leave you ever.. 😉

  37. Tina Basu says:

    i can understand this dilemma, I find it difficult to manage one little human. Hats off to u for doing that in tandem with two superheroes.

  38. msarora says:

    I have twin brothers so I can understand your feelings and situation
    #msarorasays
    Do visit my blog and express your views

  39. Meenakshi says:

    You are indeed a superwoman. As we all moms know – handling twins isn’t easy at all. So, get rid of your guilt and enjoy being a parent of twins..Your kids look so adorable 😀

  40. Neha says:

    Though I am a mom of two I can identify with many of your dilemmas but being a mom of twins takes a lot of balancing as both are of the same age and you can’t expect any kind of support from them.

  41. Geethica says:

    I am not a mom to twins but two kids 4.5 years apart. I also have the same dilemma on every act I do for them. I try to equal as much as I can but only in the eyes of God not my children.

  42. Motherhood is challenging & fun. A mommy of twins has twice the stress & joy. Lovely post! I always wanted to give birth to twins…it didn’t happen. However, I am able to live that life by reading your posts. Keep writing 🙂
    #MayuraReads #MyFriendAlexa

  43. Loved this article! thank you for writing #Viddhreads #MyFriendAlexa

  44. Now I really know the problems Moms of twins face. It is not only physically taxing but also the psychological side effects can really be not understood by everyone.
    Glad you shared.

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