Motherhood Changed Me Completely, Only For Better!

How Has Motherhood Changed Me ?

From being footloose and carefree to being cautious and well-organized, from being confused and uncertain to being sorted and confident, from being easy-going and at times ignorant to being more informed and well-researched – motherhood changed me completely, only for better.

Motherhood did not come easy to me. I had a high-risk twin pregnancy which made me undergo multiple tests, hospitalization, weekly injections, ‘n’ number of medicines – all that made me feel more like a patient and less like a pregnant woman. During those nine months, every motherly feeling of happiness came with a sigh- sigh of sciatica pain, sigh of food aversions, sigh of nervousness! At that time I kept wondering what exactly does motherhood entail, apart from the physical changes that my body underwent. It didn’t take me too long to get that answer. I soon realized that motherhood is not just a feeling that dawns upon as soon as we hold our kids for the first time. It’s more like a journey of growth and transformation that changes the entire being of a woman.  

Motherhood changed me at many levels. I became aware of my strengths and weeknesses. I learnt to take my responsibilities happily. Most importantly, I started to understand my life better- my priorities, my vision, my expectations from life- all became clear.

Motherhood changed

Here’s how else motherhood changed me 
1. I started to value my parents more

It’s rightly said that we start valuing our parents all the more when we step into their shoes and face their struggles. Not that I loved or valued them any less before, but after being a mother myself I realised how it isn’t easy. I could now feel the struggles my parents faced in a more real way. All of which has made me more expressive in my love and respect for them.

2. Moved towards a healthy lifestyle.

My husband and I realised that our young kids are fully dependent on us. As much as they need to be fit and healthy, we too need to be super energetic and active in order to take care of them in the best possible way. So we adopted major changes in our lifestyle. From binge eating to cautious meal planning, from packed and junk food to organic and natural choices, we have moved towards a healthy lifestyle.

3. Gained a new found confidence of doing things my way

The initial days of motherhood brings in a lot of nervousness and confusion, which is made worse with the multiple suggestions and advices that come from all directions. For me, that phase was overwhelming. However I learnt how to follow my own heart and do what suits my situation. This confidence of knowing my instincts and doing things my way emerged stronger on becoming a mother.

4. Patience, Efficiency and Organization- All Seeped In

Motherhood familiarized me with my own abilities. Be it my ability to breastfeed my twins non stop for 5 hours or to put them to sleep together in 5 minutes, be it my patience to deal with their growing tantrums or efficiency in managing them together along with my work and home – I derive confidence from my own powers and strengths that I never knew I had.

5. Learnt to enjoy and treasure each moment of life

Life with kids changes every minute. They grow up fast and their antics, their activities that we enjoy today only form our cherishable memories for tomorrow. So I now treasure and enjoy each phase, knowing that it’s temporary and won’t remian the same. I have learnt to live each moment of life fully. 

It’s not wrong to say that motherhood is a life-changing event. It brings along many challenges and struggles but at the end it only makes a woman capable and equipped to understand her life better.


This post is a part of the blog train started by Pooja Kawatra of Mums & Babies. She has brought along 41 moms across the globe to share their story of how motherhood has changed them. Meet the 41 moms here). Pooja has also shared her own perspective on this here.

Motherhood Changed Me

I want to thank Danisha from LoveThatYouCanBuy for introducing me and I invite Alpana from MothersGurukul to board the train with me and share her views on the same. Alpana is an Indian mom in USA with two cute little angels. She is a management professional and passionate writer, who has contributed various articles for websites like Parentous, Indian Moms Connect, World Of Moms, etc. Her blog beautifully records her wonderful parenting journey with her son and daughter.


Do you relate with this post ? How has motherhood changed you ? Share with us in the comments below.

Also read: The Hardest Part Of Motherhood

My Mom :  My Source Of Wisdom and Learning

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. I thank Veena Regit from The Reading Momster for introducing me. The prompt for today is ‘One Woman In Your Life Who is An Avatar of Goddess’
Let me also take the opportunity to introduce you to Preetjyot Kaur from My Little Muffin. I love how she writes about breaking the stereotypes and raising independent girls. Do check her blog post on the prompt for today.

My Mom: The Goddess Of My Life

We have reached to the last leg of this blogathon. While I enjoyed each day’s prompt and wrote effortlessly on the same, today’s prompt made me do some brainstorming. It’s not everyday that we write about Gods and Goddesses. It’s not everyday that we think about the powers that guide us and drive us to continue on our path.

The first person who clicks to my mind when I think about this prompt is my Mom. It is rightly said that parents are the physical personification of God on earth. We haven’t seen God but we have surely seen our parents who are our God.

My mom is a very pure soul. She is the one who has made me what I am. She is my creator, my constant source of strength and wisdom. For me she is all- Durga, Laxmi, Parvati. However if I have to choose one- I would call her Sarasvati. Saraswati is the Hindu Goddess of knowledge, wisdom, and learning. I derive my wisdom and learning from my mom.

My mom belongs to a beautiful state of Jammu & Kashmir. After spending some wonderful years of her life in that state, she moved to Delhi with my father. From a tier 2 city to an urban metro- the transition was not easy for her. She had her own struggles, which she managed to face in the best possible way.

Through her own experiences and achievements in life, she could pass on some wisdom that has helped me to grow and be successful in all aspects of life.

Mom

Let me share with you some of the golden lessons of life that I have learnt from my mom.

1. Smile is not an expression but a way of life. It is one thing that makes us sail through even the toughest of situations.

2  Hard work may not be synonymous to success. But it is certainly synonymous to mental peace and inner strength.

3. There are not just 2 ways to look at a coin. There are many if only we broaden our horizon, look for suggestions and be open to feedback.

4. No one else can make us that happy in life as we ourselves can. All we need is to look within and value our self.

5. We receive what we give- if we spread love and positivity around, we gain the same.

While there is so much more that I learn from her each day, these 5 lessons that she taught have helped me to understand and live my life better.

Mom

The most famous feature of Goddess Saraswati is the musical instrument, Veena that she holds in her hand. Her holding it symbolizes expressing knowledge that creates harmony.

My mom is my source of knowledge and harmony in life. There is no problem in my life that she cannot solve. Be it a professional advice or a personal struggle, she manages to find a solution for all. Now when I have become a mother myself, there is so much that I need to know and learn, but I don’t have to look too far. She is right there guiding me at every step and giving me strength to keep giving the best.

The symbol of Goddess Saraswati also includes a Peacock by her side. The peacock symbolizes colourful splendor, celebration of music and dance. It is believed to be the devourer of snakes, who takes the poison of the serpent on self and transmute it into radiant plumage of enlightenment.

My mom too believes in living her life fully by celebrating each day as a happy day. She adds colours in my life with her positivity, simplicity and joyful nature. Like the peacock, her selfless love and patience, inspires me to be equally virtuous and pure as she is.

It is rightly said that our mother is our first teacher. There is so much that I have learnt from different people in my life, but the best learnings came from my mom. She has made me wise and taught me how to live life beautifully. My mom,  indeed,  is the Goddess of my life.

Who is the Goddess of your life? Do share in the comments below.

Also read this poetic piece – Oh Mother!


This blog is a part of the #9daysofwomanhood blogathon where 25 bloggers have joined hands to celebrate the essence and strength of Being a Woman!

6 Essentials That Helped Me Sail Through The First Year With Twins

 It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. I thank Veena Regit from The Reading Momster for introducing me. The prompt for today is ‘My First Year With Kids’

Let me also take the opportunity to introduce you to Preetjyot Kaur from My Little Muffin. I love how she writes about breaking the stereotypes and raising independent girls. Do check her blog post on the prompt for today.


I call the first year with my twins as a year of ‘experiments’.

It was a completely new world for Aarav and Aarohi. Their struggle to make some sense of the reality around was very evident. Well, it was no different for us too. Like them, we too were trying to understand the nuances of the new role that had just dawned upon us. The first year was our year of learning, trying and making endless errors. Not that things have changed much in the second year, but they surely seem to be a little more manageable.

Like any first time mother, I was a frazzled mom in the first year. Each day turned out to be a new day that brought its own moment of happiness and joy, and also brought its own kind of pain and challenges. Since I was having twins, everything came in double the proportion. We were trying to understand the needs and demands to two babies in such a way that we could do justice to them both.

There were so many things that we tried, used and then got rid away with because we didn’t find them serving a purpose. There were so many things that we wanted to buy but couldn’t thinking they did not serve a long – term utility. Amongst the billion of tricks, techniques and advices that came our way, we were just trying to understand which one would best suit our parenting style. Finally a few things did work for us and helped us pass through that phase easily.

Let me share with you those six essentials that proved to be indispensable in our first year with kids. 
Breast Pump

Breastfeeding is one of the biggest challenges a moms faces in the first year. In my case, the concern was not just about feeding them right but also about feeding them enough. And so one of the wisest purchase that we made was a breast pump. It was an aid that made my entire breastfeeding journey with my twins easy and manageable. I bought an Avent Manual Pump and used it for almost 1.5 years

Baby Rocker/Bouncer

First year

We invested in two baby rockers by FisherPrice. Aarav and Aarohi used to enjoy sitting in their rockers till of course they started to crawl. I used to place them in their respective bouncers with some light music in the room. While they used to play with their toys hung on the rocker, I used to finish off my household chores. After 6 months, however,  they used to enjoy climbing on and off the rocker more; but it still used to be their favourite place to play or listen rhymes or story books that I used to read aloud for them.

Twin Pram

First year

Our evening walks were made possible with the help of a twin pram.  Aarav and Aarohi used to enjoy  watching the birds, vehicles and people around. It would be our favourite time of the day as all three of us would enjoy roaming in the fresh air. Initially we were confused whether to buy two single prams or one twin pram. There are not name reasonable options in Indian market for a good twin pram. We eventually bought a Joie twin pram. It was an expensive purchase but totally a worthwhile one.

Baby Carrier

I actually got to know about the multiple benefits of baby wearing when my kids turned five months old. Before that, I never found the need of babywearing. By seventh months I started wearing them on regular basis. At 20 months, we are still going strong with our Anmol baby carriers and there is no looking back. They are our constant companions in almost all our travels and outings.

Parenting App

My first year was full of doubts. From the right way of feeding the kids to choosing the right skin care brand- I would have a query about everything. As a practice I would do a thorough research before buying any new kid’s product. Parenting Apps like BabyChakra helped me to make an informed choice in that regard. I could also connect with various experts and seek suggestions from other like-minded moms through this app. 

Parenting Groups

I happened to join various support groups on Facebook and What’s app. One of them was an exclusive group of twin mothers and other was a breastfeeding support groups. Both these groups proved to be extremely beneficial. I could connect with so many other mums who have been through my situation and also got to learn from their experience. Such groups provided me the right motivation that I needed at that time

Our journey through the first year with twins was a bumpy ride. Along with these six essentials that helped us to sail through, we also received timely support from our parents and family which contributed immensely. 

I still remember, the first time I held my kids, my hands were trembling. But the art of handling twins came on automatically. Within no time, I became a pro at changing diapers in 2 minutes to giving them bath one after the other to make them sleep on my lap side by side. Gradually from a frazzled mom I became a confident one who could enjoy the most beautiful moments of life and cherish them forever.

 

How was your first year with your kid? Do share with us in the comments below.

Also read: My Twin Pregnancy: An Exciting Roller Coaster Ride


This blog is a part of the #9daysofwomanhood blogathon where 25 bloggers have joined hands to celebrate the essence and strength of Being a Woman!

 

27 Nov’15: An Eventful Day That Made Me Experience Myriad Emotions

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. I thank Veena Regit from The Reading Momster for introducing me. The prompt for today is ‘My Pregnancy . Hop on to her blog to read her story.
Let me also take the opportunity to introduce you to Preetjyot Kaur from My Little Muffin. I love how she writes about breaking the stereotypes and raising independent girls. Do check her blog post on the prompt for today.

All through the nine months of my pregnancy, I was completely paranoid. Making it to the 36 weeks mark and delivering two healthy babies was my biggest concern. However when the eventful day of my delivery arrived, to my surprise I was very calm and collected. I thought I would be apprehensive and scared but it was completely opposite. I was extremely positive and excited.

I call it an eventful day because it unfolded in a totally unexpected way. Various events took place that made me experience myriad emotions. From being nervous to excited, being furious to outright silly, from joyful to teary-eyed- I felt multiple emotions all in the span of few hours.

Here is how the eventful day unfolded:

At around 6 am in the morning of 27 November 15, my water bag broke and I had to be rushed to the hospital in an emergency. In no time, I found myself lying on the hospital bed, being prepared for an emergency c-section.

At around 9 am, I started to feel the labour pain. While multiple last minute tests were being performed, I was told that I will have to wait for a few more hours as no OT was vacant at that time. With those unbearable labour pains, that was the last thing I expected to hear on the earth.

By 10 am, the intensity of my pains increased. I was already furious with the unnecessary delay and to top it, I was left with a nurse who was over talkative. In her attempt to divert my mind, she kept asking me all sorts of random questions- from my favorite food to the colour of my wedding dress to my honeymoon destination. At that point of time when I was already in terrible pain those questions were nothing but annoying, leaving me more agitated.

Finally at 11 am, I was shifted to OT. There were lights, machines and a small table on which I was supposed to fit myself. I wanted to see closely how an OT looks but before I entered my glasses were removed and I was half-blind. I couldn’t gather much of what was happening around except for the fact that it was unbearably cold in there.

There were numerous people in the room. It was cluttered with seniors doctors, junior doctors, anesthesiologist, nurses, team from stem cell banking, etc. I was just trying to make sense of the multiple noises around when suddenly I heard a male voice. It took me two minutes to digest the fact that there were men in that room too!

By 11:15, the entire procedure started. Local anesthesia was given, curtain was set and all the machines around were put to start. One one hand an intravenous was put, on the other a BP monitoring machine was added. My mouth was covered with an oxygen mask and ultrasound machine was on my tummy to record the movements and position of the babies. I was told not to move at all and lie still till the doctor signals. Like an obedient student I listened to my strict teachers.

Fifteen to twenty minutes in this situation, I started to feel some severe itching on my arm. One of the medicines that was given to me, reacted. I felt a terrible urge to scratch my arm, but I couldn’t move. I wanted to tell the nurse around to help me but the silly oxygen mask didn’t let me. There were 2 junior doctors standing near my hand busy cribbing about their night duties. After giving them multiple signals, to my respite one of them heard and finally came to help me out.

By now, I was partially irritated and partially exhausted. I actually just wanted to sleep for sometime. I thought I will close my eyes and open them now only once I will hear my baby’s voice. But as soon as I closed my eyes, something unusual occurred to my mind.

I was suddenly reminded of my shoes that I left in the doctor’s room. Since I was rushed in a hurry I was taken directly from the doctor’s room to the labour room on a stretcher and wasn’t given time to wear them. I felt silly thinking about my favourite pair of shoes and was hoping not to lose them.

I tried to divert my mind, at that point. And started chanting. Around 12 noon I suddenly heard a baby’s cry. My heart beat grew fast. I was told my girl had arrived. The nurse brought her near me. Next minute, I heard another cry. And it was of my boy. The nurse brought him too and placed him on my chest. For next few seconds I just kept admiring the two most beautiful creations of the world. I was excited to the point that I didn’t realize when tears started rolling down my eyes.

Eventful day

The sisters took my babies away while I was getting prepared to be stitched. I eagerly wanted the entire procedure to get finished soon because I was excited to see my babies again. But to my hard luck, I had to wait in OT for the next 4 hours. I had a a problem of keloids and so a special cosmetologist was arranged to close my stitches. Apparently that cosmetologist went on lunch at that time and came back after 2 hours. I was infuriated again because I wanted to hold my babies and hug them tight.

Finally I was shifted to the recovery room at 4 pm. I stayed in the recovery room as doctors wanted to know the reason of the unexpected itching that occured in the middle of the operation. It took them 3 more hours to diagnose its reason and prescribe a cure. I couldn’t wait more to meet my babies. I almost cried in front of the nurses to either let me go or bring my babies here. It was then they told me that my babies are shifted to NICU. And I can only meet them the next day. 

You can imagine the plight of a mother who delivered her twins but still couldn’t see them for a good 24 hours. My babies were finally discharged from NICU on 1st December, which also happened to be my birthday. That’s another memorable and an equally eventful day of my life. Read how that precious day unfolded in this article Birthday of 2015: The Most Memorable Day Of My Life

How was your eventful day of delivery? Do share it in the comments below. 


This blog is a part of the #9daysofwomanhood blogathon where 25 bloggers have joined hands to celebrate the essence and strength of Being a Woman!

My Twin Pregnancy: A Rollercoaster Ride Full Of Excitement

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 24 other bloggers are celebrating #9daysofwomanhood throughout Navratri. I thank Veena Regit from The Reading Momster for introducing me. The prompt for today is ‘My Pregnancy . Hop on to her blog to read her story.
Let me also take the opportunity to introduce you to Preetjyot Kaur from My Little Muffin. I love how she writes about breaking the stereotypes and raising independent girls. Do check her blog post on the prompt for today.

Think about a high-risk, twin pregnancy and what comes to your mind- multiple injections, ‘n’ number of medicines, doctor visits, scans? And also double the heartbeats, double the movements and double the kicks?  Well, that’s right. My twin pregnancy involved all this and much more.

I still remember, after the first scan when my doctor revealed that there are two hearts beating inside me, my first question to her was – ‘Are you sure?’.  She couldn’t help but smile at my state of mind at that time. I was totally blank and did not know how to react. I was waiting for such a day to arrive in my life soon, but had never expected that the happiness would be two-fold.

In the next visit, my doctor told me that since it’s a twin pregnancy, it is going to be high risk and very different from the singleton ones. She asked me to prepare myself accordingly and never compare my situation with any other pregnant mom of singleton. Well, that one piece of advise really helped me to stay sane all through the nine months.

My husband and I had no clue what the next few months would unfold for us. We were excited and thrilled for experiencing an all together different phase of life. However, with multiple tests, scans, medications we were nervous too. Making it to the due date and delivering two healthy babies in the world had become like our life’s mission. Each month brought some wonderful moments to cherish and each passing trimester made us feel closer to our mission.

Twin Pregnancy

I was advised complete bed rest for all through the nine months  My body was trying to cope with the physical changes that the twin pregnancy hormones were bringing in, that too at double the speed. I lost 8 kgs in the first trimester, was admitted thrice to the hospital in the second, and suffered from severe skin itching in the third. Sleepless nights, nausea, vomiting had become my best friends all through. Washroom turned into my second most favorite place in the world, my bed room being the first. I would feel as if my kids were raging a war, competing as to who would come up with the maximum number of kicks. Phew! Those days have some amazing memories!

As my body was preparing for all the major changes, my mind too was trying soak in the fact that ‘two’ would not just be a number anymore.

‘Two’  will be more like our way of life now. I was mentally trying to prepare myself about this entire new journey of life. But of course, it wasn’t easy! One day, I would be all excited googling over some unique names for twins. The other day I would be anxiously reading on how I can breastfeed them. Third day I would be nervously listen to the advise of another twin mommy. My mind was trying to gather all the knowledge coming from various corners and was grappling to equip itself better to deal with the upcoming situation.

The physical and mental changes that my twin pregnancy brought were still manageable. Emotionally, however, things were unexplainable.

It was like multiple emotions churning in my heart coupled with unpredictable mood swings. I blame it all on the hormones though! My emotions took various shapes and expressions- all extreme so to say. I would laugh like a crackpot with every kick I would feel; cry like a baby thinking of all those favorite dishes that I couldn’t eat; and shriek in horror seeing every new medicine that I had to take. My husband and family were always at the receiving end of these dwindling emotions, yet they made all the efforts to make me feel nothing less than a princess.

And so I call my twin pregnancy as an excited roller-coaster ride. Each trimester had its own highs and lows, but also brought along some wonderful moments and life-long learnings. The first trimester taught me to be patient and to take things easily. The second one taught me to not lose hope and the third one made me believe in the miracles of God.

All through the pregnancy me and my hubby worked towards reaching the 36 weeks mark. So when I finally delivered in the 37th week, we wanted to do a happy dance. We thought we were accomplished in our mission,  only to realize that this was just a small trailer. The real and the biggest mission of life has just started as ‘raising twins’ is like the real test of our parenting abilities. Hoping to be successful again, we now simply enjoy our two precious creations and bask in the happiness that unravels before us, everyday.

How was your pregnancy journey? Share with us in the comments below.

Also read: Dilemmas Of A  Mother Of Twins


This blog is a part of the #9daysofwomanhood blogathon where 25 bloggers have joined hands to celebrate the essence and strength of Being a Woman!

 Birthday of 2015 : The Most Memorable Day Of My Life

1/12/2015- The most dramatic yet memorable day of my life.

1st December happens to be my birthday. It is usually a day when I am made to feel special. However, in 2015 I had another reason to feel special. I had delivered my babies just three days before and it was my first birthday post motherhood.

My twins were born on 27th November 2015. As soon as they were born they were taken to NICU for observation. Since they were slightly below the average weight, doctors told us that their NICU stay will be extended, almost to 24 hours. We believed that it was for their good and hence complied. After a day, we got to know that my son has caught some infection and so his stay would continue till he is on the antibiotic course. Suspecting the same for my daughter, doctors advised her to be under observation too. We were finally told that both the kids will be out of NICU on 1st December.

For a mother, having given birth and yet not having the new-born kids by her side is something very difficult to imagine. For me, those three days were the longest days of my life. All through my pregnancy I waited for the day to arrive when I would see my kids. And when the time came where I could see them in front of my eyes, I couldn’t really cuddle or hold them in my arms.  I was advised rest and could meet my kids only twice or thrice a day for a maximum of half an hour. That phase of separation was tough and difficult to cope.  So, when I was told that my kids will finally be with me, I was elated beyond words. And more so because the date given was of my birthday. I thought that is the perfect gift I could get.

Birthday

Finally, the happy day arrived and I was excited. However, as the day unfolded a series of dramatic events took place.

9 am:  We were waiting for the doctor. The nurse told us that the doctor would come for the regular morning rounds and would approve their discharge. Only after his approval, they would be able to bring the kids out of NICU.
11 am: The nurse informed us that the doctor is late by an hour and would take another one hour or so. Trying to maintain our calm, we waited.
12 am: The doctor arrived. After examining the kids for another half an hour, he gave the green signal and asked the staff to get the discharge papers ready.
1 pm: Sister brought the discharge papers. She waited for the doctor to sign them since he had left for lunch. Meanwhile she told us to get our kids’ clothes ready. They were so far wearing the clothes provided by NICU.
2 pm: Doctor arrived. He signed on the papers but told the nurse to discharge the kids only after giving them their next feed.
2.30 pm: My kids were given their feed. While drinking my daughter vomited and sister started to panic. In a hurry, she called the doctor again.
3 pm: Since the senior doctor wasn’t available immediately, the junior doctor arrived. She examined my kids again. While she approved for my son’s discharge, she refused it for my daughter and told the nurse to put the case on hold till the senior doctor comes.
4 pm: By this time, I was not just disappointed but almost in tears. The excitement of having my kids by my side after the three long days, soon turned into uncertainty. I wanted both my kids to be with me. I couldn’t take another day of separation. My husband came to me and tried to convince, but I was crying inconsolably. He told me to cheer up since it was my birthday. I told him to get me my birthday gift- i.e. both my kids.
4.30 pm: The nurse got my son in the room. He was covered in an orange coloured wrapping sheet. He was awake and trying to understand the new environment around him. I kept admiring him for sometime.
5 pm: I told my husband to ask the doctor about our daughter. I kept praying to lord that there is no major reason behind her vomiting and that she is allowed for the discharge too.
5:30 pm: The doctor arrived and examined my daughter again. After examining her, he kept discussing something with his team for the next half an hour.
6 pm: My husband couldn’t take the suspense anymore. He barged into their conversation and asked the doctor what’s the status. Finally, the doctor replied that all is well with her and that she can be taken to my room too.
6:15pm: My husband decided to surprise me. He came in the room and told that the doctors are uncertain and want to observe her for another day. Saying this, he left for some work.
6:30 pm: I had lost all hopes. Hugging my son, I kept crying thinking about my daughter whom I desperately wanted to be with.
7 pm: Someone knocked the door of my room. I saw the sister bringing my daughter. Wrapped in a pink sheet, she was sleeping yet smiling. I was surprised and teary eyed again.
7:30 pm: I saw my husband entering the room with a cake and candles. We finally celebrated my birthday with both my kids in our arms.

I did get the best gift of my life on that specific birthday. Even though I delivered on 27th November, I technically got to enjoy motherhood from 1st December onwards.

Every time I would see my kids, I would shed a few tears while showering a thousand kisses on them. Now after a year and half when I reminisce that day, I realise how much I cried. My kids would have been with me anyway sooner or later but at that time, I was beyond consolable and not in the capacity to think this way.

The birthday brought two important realizations of my life as a new mother. One; I got to know about my capacity to cry and that I can express almost all my emotions through tears. Two; I got to know about my capacity to love and that I could actually hold pieces of my heart in my hand and love them beyond measure.

 

 I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words #6. This is my post for Day 4 based on the prompt- ‘day in your life or someone else’s life’. Also read my post on Day 3’s prompt- Bhopal: A City Mapped In My Heart

#writetribe #writingbravely #festivalofwords #writebravely #writingchallenge

 

 

 

BabyChakra Parenting App: The Best Resource I have Used

BabyChakra : A Resourceful Parenting App

Motherhood makes a woman joyful, content and strong. It also makes her doubtful, nervous and puzzled. Especially for a new mom, the entire experience of motherhood can be overwhelming. Hence she needs a resource which is reliable and helps to make her parenting journey easy.

As a new mom, I was struggling with my dwindling emotions. One moment I would feel like a woman with immense superpowers to have given birth to new souls. The other moment, I would feel like a failure for not being able to soothe a crying baby. In those initial days, I was filled with multiple doubts and fears. And more so, because I had twins to look after.

For every doubt I had, I used to resort to Google. However, Google is a storehouse of vast information – both good and bad. Instead of providing me with right solutions, it usually added to my queries by showing some more problems. And frankly, I never had the patience and strength to filter information. I was sincerely looking for a resource that would not just clear my doubts but also guide me in the most positive way. That’s when I came across this highly resourceful app called BabyChakra.

After using it for a few weeks, I realized that BabyChakra is one of the most trusted parenting apps that brings all the help and support a new parent would need. It connects a mother to various experts, child care services and other fellow mothers who could share their experiences.

I use this app to find answers to every single doubt I have as a mother. Some helpful moms are always there to answer my query. I remember once, when my kids were 3 months old, my daughter suddenly started howling at 3 am in the night and I did not know what to do. I had posted this on the feed section of the app and to my surprise I received immediate replies with mothers giving me all the advice, solutions and tips to calm her. This app came to my rescue even in the wee hours.

The app connects moms to various health-care services and experts, that too all free of cost. I have sought opinions of gynaecologists, paediatricians and nutritionists through this app and found some reliable and practical solutions to my queries. There is a special review section on the app that enables mothers to share their experiences on any baby or mom related service. Every time me and my husband plan to visit a new restaurant I check its review on the app to know how child-friendly it is. For every new product that I plan to buy for my baby, I judge its worth by reading the reviews on the app. This certainly helps me to make an informed choice.

BabyChakra

There is a huge collection of some useful and informative articles on BabyChakra. Be it breastfeeding or nutrition or DIY ideas – you name it and it has it all. I always resort to these articles when I need some information on any topic related to mom health and baby. Especially on the days when I suffer from the typical ‘parenting blues’, I look up to its collection of some funny and light memes that simply uplifts my mood.

BabyChakra also curates some great products for moms and kids that can be purchased on their site as well as app. I wasn’t aware of some of the organic product brands but recently I happened to buy some wooden toys and healthy cookies from their site and realized how awesome they are. My kids loved them.

The community experience that BabyChakra provides is wonderful. Since all its members belong to the same tribe, they can find a connect with each other. It has a special Momstar programme through which we get to know like-minded moms. The best part is I can easily discuss my parenting mistakes with this community without having any fear of being judged. In fact, I am always assured with most positive suggestions and feedback. Through this platform, I have made some wonderful friends  who are always there to help.

This is my second post for the 6th The Write Tribe Festival Of Words. Today’s prompt required me to write on one of the best resources I have ever used and I could not think of anything else but BabyChakra. It has not just been my constant companion in my parenting journey but also proved to be a one-stop solution to all my parenting needs. 

Apart from this app, there is another helpful resource that I have used which is the book, Everything You Need To Know To Have Healthy Twin Pregnancy by Gila Leiter. This book helped me to cope with my complicated pregnancy. Read my detailed review of the book here.

 

 

#writetribe #writebravely #festivalofwords #writingchallenge

 

Motherhood

The Hardest Part Of Motherhood: Being Both A Mom and A SuperMom

Every phase of motherhood brings certain challenges. For a woman, the hardest part of being a mother is to accept the challenge that she is posed with, at each step of her motherhood journey, and emerge victorious at the end.

My twins are 19 months old now and are learning to make sense of the world around them. I am currently in that phase of motherhood where my kids feel I am a Super Mom and have special abilities through which I can solve any problem.

The other day, I gave a cookie to my son. As he took his first bite, it broke into two. He did not want his cookie to break and wanted to gulp the entire piece as a whole. With eyes full of tears and some hope, the first person he came running to was his Mom. He wanted me to fix that cookie back. Somewhere,  he felt his mom has superpowers by which she can fix everything right. I tried giving him a new cookie but that did not help the situation. 

To mention another incident, my kids were in  the garden when it suddenly started raining. My daughter loves playing on the swings and so did not want to go back home. But at the same time she did not want to get drenched too. She started crying, making an appeal to her mom to STOP the rain. Somewhere, she felt her mom can do anything, even if it means changing the course of nature.

Motherhood

Whenever there is a doubt or a trouble, the first person children rush to is their Mom. For them mums can do magical wonders. They have special powers through which they can solve all their problems –  be it big or small.

As a mom it certainly makes me feel special because my children choose to place their trust on me over anyone else. I feel special because they think I am the superwoman of their life. But it also places a responsibility on my shoulder. The responsibility of always being right, of always keeping their hopes high, of never failing in their eyes.

For me the hardest part of motherhood is to justify myself as a human with no super power, and yet not letting my children lose their faith in me. Explaining this could be easier to the world, but not to young children whose universe revolves around their mom. For kids that young, their mom can never be wrong. To make them realize that moms are a human being at the end and are bound to err, is the most difficult part of parenting.

Motherhood

As a mother, I want my children to believe in me and know that I will always be there for them. I will do my best to help them out in every situation. But I also want them to know that  I am a human at the end, with my own set of limitations.

Probably, as they would grow, they would be in a better position to understand this fact. But till the time they don’t, I will have to take this as a challenge and figure out ways to deal with both the roles – that of a Mom and of a Super Mom. 

 

Do you relate to this? You may also like reading My Parenting Mantra: Keeping The Promises Of Parenting

 

This post is a link up with Amrita andDeepa for #MondayMommyMomments
(Follow on Twitter @DeepaGandhi1 and @misra_amrita )

Proud Blogger for

My Parenting Mantra: Keeping The Promises Of Parenting

Howdy, Welcome to the blog train- My Parenting Mantra. Find on board some awesome bloggers who will drive this train for a month and share their enriching and unique parenting experience.

Thanks to Neha who blogs at SharingOurExperiences for introducing me.

Meet the fellow blogger moms who are a part of this blog train here.

Parenting poses a unique challenge to every parent. While there is no one golden rule that all parents follow, there is however one particular mantra that’s unique to each parent. This mantra that they follow is based on their lifestyle, values, and individual choices. In our case, this mantra is based upon the very fact that we have twins.

I always felt that parenting doesn’t need any rules,  until I became a parent myself. I then realized that these rules are not rules so to say, but some promises that each parent makes to oneself in order to give their best.

We felt the need of making such promises to ourselves when we heard the two tiny heartbeats for the very first time. The happiness that ushered in, was immediately marked by anxiety, nervousness and confusion. We knew we would love our kids unconditionally, but our mind was still clouded by some major doubts- how would we manage two kids together? Would we be able to do justice to both? What if we become partial to one? What if we unknowingly neglect one? What if we fall into the trap of comparison? How would we deal with the world who would always compare our twins?  

Hence, to be are prepared to deal with all sorts of situations and make our parenting journey easy, we devised our parenting mantra that included the following-

1. Creating a good value system

It’s very important to create an environment that helps kids to imbibe good values naturally. Both me and my husband believe in making our kids know the ‘why’ of things that helps them to value and respect what they have. We always ensure that we create such a system at home that enables them to learn gratitude and encourage them to be humble.

2. Follow what we preach

Kids learn by examples and who could set better examples for them other than the parents! As a family, we believe in modeling the desired behavior. We speak/behave in the way we want our kids to reciprocate and so far this has been working really well for us.

3. Encourage independent thinking

We want our kids to think independently, express themselves well and assert their choices. Since they are twins, the chance for them to be influenced by each others opinion would be high. And so we plan to raise them in such a way that each is capable of taking his/her own decisions. Though young, we still try to ask them about their individual choices, likes and dislikes and ensure that they get what they choose for themselves.

4. Avoid comparison

A n A

When there are two kids of same age in a house, the urge to compare is but natural. Each child is unique and so it’s all the more important for us to be conscious of this fact and resist this urge. We realized this fact pretty early and it has only helped to maintain our sanity as a parent of twins.

5. Nourish individuality

My kids have completely opposite personality traits. One is shy and clingy, the other is an  independent little explorer. Hence their needs, choices and interests are also very different from each other. So while everyone around tries to find some similarities between them, considering they are twins, we try to understand and respect their individual differences. We even spend some quality time with each child alone just to have that one-on-one connection.

6. Nurture the sibling bond

Parenting Mantra

Both A n A( Aarav and Aarohi) have a wonderful tuning. They have a unique connection that surprises us in many ways. Their giggles and endless cryptophasia (their private language) simply makes our day. And so we do our bit to nurture this connection in whatever way we can to help it remain special.

7. Let kids be kids

They fight, they play, they create mess and do everything that irritates us. But at the end, we as parents try to be mindful about the fact that they are kids and will act their age. We try to be conscious while placing our expectations on them and allow them to learn their way.

 

My husband and me keep reminding each other of these promises and in all situations we try to follow them. This not just helps us to enjoy as a family but also makes our parenting journey less complicated.

 

Enjoyed reading My Parenting Mantra? See what our next blogger mom Priyadarshani who blogs at Rattlebabblebattle says about her Parenting Mantra. Also, don’t forget to leave a comment here and share your opinions. We are all ears. 

 

Also read: Do Not Sacrifice For Your Kids: Simply Live and Let Live 

 

Dealing With A Clingy Baby: My Experience And Learnings

All babies undergo a phase when they are super clingy and just don’t want to leave their mumma’s lap. For some kids this phase is short-lived, but for a few others it’s a prolonged one. Mine is a latter case. I have twins, out of whom one is a clingy baby.

While my girl is a little independent and would manage to explore things around all alone, my boy is a super clingy baby. All he wants is to be carried all day. He needs his mom to be by his side all through. Even while sleeping he doesn’t leave my lap. I try to sneak out thinking he is asleep. But the minute my feet hit the floor, his eyes start to blink and his familiar wailing begins.

Handling such a baby is tough. And, more so because I have two to look after. While carrying one baby all day, I always feel guilty of neglecting the other.

On top of it, I have been at the receiving end of a lot of criticism, judgment and even unsolicited suggestions, in the past:

1. You are spoiling your child by giving in to his demands all the time.

2. You are being over protective. Your child will never become independent if you carry him all the time.

3. Let the kid cry. That helps to develop his lungs.

4. Kids cry all the time. You can’t be giving in everytime.

5. Go away from the child. You being around all the time makes him want you all the more.

6. Leave the child alone. That ways he will learn. You seem to be emotionally very weak.

7. It’s not the baby who is clingy. It’s you who cannot stay away from the child for long.

8. And the worst of all, it’s your breast milk that makes him stay on your lap all the time. You probably breastfeed him a lot.

All such opinions ended up creating more distress for an already worried mother in me. So one day I decided to know, read, learn and understand everything about clingy babies.

 

Why Is A Baby Clingy

While there could be several reasons for a baby to be clingy, a few basic ones could be-

1. Separation Anxiety

In the early months of life, kids have no concept of independence and so they consider themselves and their mother as one. Gradually, as they grow, they realize their mother is a separate individual and this thought overwhelms them. That’s when babies do not want to go away from their mums. They need their presence around them all the time.

Read more about Separation Anxiety here. 

2. Development Changes

All babies experience clingy periods when big changes in their development occur. Be it phases like teething, or achieving milestones, they take time to adjust and hence seek more comfort which they get only from their moms.

While the reason could be any, what’s to be assured about is that these clingy stages in a baby’s life is developmentally normal and appropriate. It’s actually a sign that the baby is making progress.

How I Deal With My Situation

1. Ignore the world and follow my heart

A mom of a clingy baby attracts people’s attention all the more. She is most susceptible to judgements and even suggestions. To maintain my sanity, I always ignore what people opine about me or my ways of dealing with my child. As far as suggestions are concerned, I practice the ‘filter policy’. Simply filter between what’s positive and what’s not, between what is followable and what’s not.

2. Always be there for my child

I believe in giving that attention, comfort and support that my son needs. Simply because, attachment fosters independence not dependence. Leaving him distressed, to cry and settle on his own only worsens our situation. However being with him, diverting his mind, cuddling and comforting works well as he feels secure and assured that no matter what, his mom is always by his side.

3. Believing it is a temporary phase

It’s certainly not easy managing the household chores while clasping a clingy baby to my hips all the time. It’s exhausting both physically as well as mentally. But at the end of the day, I believe in the fact that it’s just a phase, which may be tough but is not endless. It, too, shall pass.

4. Babywearing

I call my son a ‘velcro baby’ as he is always strapped around me. Wherever I go,  he accompanies. Babywearing adds to our comfort as I go hands free and my baby peacefully enjoys the rhythm of my heartbeat.

5. Explaining the baby

Talking out to the baby always helps, even when we think that he is not able to understand. In situation when I have to leave my son in care of someone else, I prefer telling him goodbye and leave, than sneaking out behind his back. Explaining him that I will be back in sometime helps to do away with his fear that his mom will never come back.

6. Sleep talking

I try sleep talking with my son when he is half asleep. I say all the positive sentences like’ Mama is always with you’, ‘Mama loves you a lot’, ‘Mama is always going to be by your side’, etc. Speaking such affirmative sentences feed his unconscious mind with some positivity that may help to reduce his insecurities.

A clingy baby is not a problematic baby. It’s just a baby’s way to learn and deal with his surroundings. And so such a baby doesn’t need rolling eyes of people around. All he needs is to be felt secured and loved. This will not just give him confidence to strike out on his own but will also help him emerge as an expressive person.

Also Read: Dilemmas Of A Mother of Twins