‘I love me, I love me.
I don’t know about you, but baby I love me
I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast
I love all y’all, but I love me the most.
’ – Meghan Trainor
This song by Meghan Trainor is like an anthem to me. Her words serve as reminder that I am important. I need to give myself equal attention as much I give to others and love myself for who I am. And no, this doesn’t make me selfish. I am just being self-compassionate. After all to love others, I need to love myself first. Isn’t it?
Self-love is a highly misunderstood term. It is usually considered as a moral flaw and equated to vanity or may be narcissism. Even when others don’t hold us wrong, we ourselves feel guilty when we pay more attention to self over others. Frankly, I feel it’s not our fault too. For a long time, women have been conditioned to think that if they are not constantly working hard or taking care of others, they’re being selfish. And this conditioning only worsens post motherhood. A mom going for a movie with friends, leaving her kid with the baby-sitter will surely find some eye-brows raised at her. And many a times, it’s the other women (and not just men) judging her.
What women have not been taught is- taking care of ourself is the beginning point for taking care of others. If we don’t spend time on ourself, if we don’t take time to rest or relax, if we don’t do things that make us happy, then we will be so exhausted and worn out that we won’t be of any help to anyone else – not even ourself.
To be honest, I myself realised the value of self-love post motherhood. The entire idea made more sense to me when I became a mom. Raising twins, I realised parenting is a never-ending job that requires my complete time and attention. It requires me to love unconditionally and raise happy kids. But would I be able to do that if I lose myself completely into it? Would I be able to do that if I don’t take care of my own health and happiness? As it’s said, you can’t pour from an empty vessel. To spread joy, we first need to be joyful within.
And so, as a practice, I try do certain things that feed my soul and make me hum to myself ‘I Love Me. I Love Me ’. I ensure to spare some time out for myself from my everyday busy mom life and invest in doing things that make me happy. This only helps me feel more refreshed and be a confident person.
Sharing with you a list of things that I follow and that you can follow too in order to practice self-love.
1.Me time– My me time is sacrosanct and I don’t miss out on it for a single day. It’s just half an hour a day that I spend reading a book or watching my fav show or simply browsing through net, but it’s rejuvenating and restores my energy.
2. Self care – I heard it somewhere – ‘Value yourself enough to make self-care practices a regular part of your routine.’ And I totally follow it. Be it booking a session for spa or a salon visit for a pedicure, I try not to miss out on any. It’s a monthly routine just like shopping for grocery is.e
3. Learning The Art Of Saying NO– This one is tough, trust me. We have been conditioned to always agree and say yes (especially to elders) that we forget how to say no where it’s most required. With time, I have learnt that saying no doesn’t make you a bad person, it only makes you a smart one, and probably a more happier one too.
4. Following My Passion– For me identifying my passion was a bigger challenge than following it. But once known, I knew what I had to do. Writing/Blogging is one of those passions (also turned into profession, to an extent ) and has now given me a new identity and a new meaning in life.
5. Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone – I gain confidence of another level when I attempt things that are beyond my comfort zone. Those who know me know I am a camera-shy person. So speaking in front of camera and making videos (as a blogger) is something that doesn’t really come naturally to me. I have to work hard and push myself beyond a limit. But everytime I do, I gain another sense of ‘High’ (which no drink in the world can even give, lol).o
6. Forgive Myself– This one is the most important. I try not to let guilt seep in (especially while practicing the above things) and forgive myself if ever I feel guilty or embarrassed of my actions/decisions. I think when we do away with guilt, we also do away with doubts that we place on self, and become much more confident and in control of our own life. Don’t you think?
7. Accepting Myself – We all have flaws and we all make mistakes, but once we identify our strengths and positives and accept our weaknesses, we learn to respect and value ourself. We pay less heed to judgements and feel more confident in our own skin. That’s true self-love. Isn’t it?
One thing that we all need to understand (especially as moms) and even teach our kids is that self-love isn’t a previlege or a curse. It’s a plain necessity to live a happy life.
So, if you have been holding yourself back from doing things that you really want to, then GO DO IT NOW! Lead a happy and content life and most importantly love yourself as much you love others! For self-love isn’t selfish; it’s plain loving, accepting and valuing yourself.
It gives me immense pleasure to share that I along with 30 other bloggers are celebrating Woman’s Day in a unique way by writing our hearts out and bringing together this special blog together #Unapologeticgirlz. I thank Preetjyot who writes at MylittlemuffinMom for introducing me. She is an inspirational mom who writes about breaking the stereotypes and raising independent girls.
I would also take the opportunity to introduce Sneha who is a fellow mom of twins and a prolific writer. She shares her parenting stories at It’satwiningstory
Do check out their posts on the prompt for the day Self-love.