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Feminist Housewife: I am Homemaker and also a Feminist

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Feminist Housewife ‘ – a lot of people think this term is an oxymoron while it’s not. A woman can be a homemaker yet very much a feminist!


I unload the dishwasher, finish the final round of laundry, turn the chicken grills and placate my kids with their favorite story of The Big Blue Train before tugging them to bed with a final Goodnight kiss, and while doing all this I take pride in calling myself a Feminist Housewife.

One of the most talked about terms these days is Feminism. While many women claim to be feminist, not all know what it’s real meaning entails. I was absolutely baffled when while sharing my views upon this topic with my friend, I was cut short by her saying, ‘you are a Housewife, you should be the least one talking about Feminism’! Her light remark failed to amuse me and got me thinking seriously, Does being a housewife make me any less of a feminist?

Feminist Housewife : I am a #homemaker and also a #feminist

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Isn’t Feminism all about Choice?

I am a homemaker by choice. The very fact that I can assert my choice and live my life the way I want to makes me a feminist. Choosing playroom over boardroom does not make me any less intelligent, ambitious or opinionated. Just as being a working mother wouldn’t have taken away my maternal instincts. Being a stay at home mother doesn’t mean I conform with the saying that men are superior or that a woman’s only role is to be at home to raise her children.

Feminism is all about empowering women to be able to decide for themselves. Instead of giving into restrictive roles, it’s about letting women to be able to chart their own trajectory. So be it the role of a housewife or a working woman or a part time professional, it’s a lifestyle choice women make in the best interest of themselves and their family. And if they are content with their personal choice, then they can happily be called as feminists.

For we are ‘equals’

As a belief, feminism considers men and women equal. In this endless quest for equality, it doesn’t mean women have to act like men, or vice versa. It doesn’t necessarily require women to step out of the house and earn as much as their partner to be called as his equal. While I stay at home and manage the household chores, my alliance with my husband is that of ‘equality’. As he takes care of the major finances, I manage the social and emotional needs of the family. We both contribute our bit to support our family system. In doing this, none of us considers the other as inferior. When it comes to taking important decisions concerning us, we have an equal say. When it comes to managing the expenses we decide mutually. Being in an alliance, our marriage works on the basis of our ‘partnership’. Doesn’t the tenets of feminism talk of the same?

Feminist Housewife

It’s easy to judge a housewife just as much as it’s easy to misinterpret feminism. For all the debates and questions it entails, let me tell you ‘homemakers’ and ‘feminism’ are absolutely compatible terms and a woman who chooses to be a both should be absolutely proud of herself.


Disclaimer– I originally wrote this post for Mrigaa.com


Are you a Feminist Housewife? Share your views in the comments below.

Comments:

30 responses to “Feminist Housewife: I am Homemaker and also a Feminist”

  1. Surinder Sareen says:

    Absolutly correct

  2. Vandana Dewan says:

    I completely agree with you, Charu. People believe that you are doing ‘nothing’ if you are a homemaker. They forget that it is due to this ‘homemaker’ that the house functions smoothly and everyone in the family can do their ‘work’ hassle-free.A homemaker is capable of taking important decisions of the family be it finances, social or any other needs. Hats off to you for writing such a beautiful and coherent blog.

  3. Mayuri6 says:

    I am so glad you wrote this! What a balanced and confident point of view, and one many women will agree with. A lot of women have the premise of Feminism all wrong, which is why they are fighting against the rights, like a woman choosing to be a housewife.

  4. The sentence that says Feminism is all about empowering women to be able to decide for themselves is the crux of your post. The word Homemaker speaks for itself but is often misunderstood as sitting at home. Very frank and strong post

  5. Feminism is about women having equal rights – the right to choose is foremost in this.

  6. Very much logical point of views, totally agree with you.

  7. Lavanya says:

    Well stated. Lots of people confuse feminism with a woman holding a job. It’s always been about whether you are liberated enough to follow through on your choices.

  8. Yes, one is content and happy, is all what matters. In a family if the partners are mutually understanding nothing can beat that.
    But true, in today’s scenario there are feminism that has diff meaning depending on who we talk.

  9. geekanika says:

    Absolutely! Feminism is about choices and and being able to make the ones that are best for you. I wish more people would get that straight.

  10. Varsh says:

    Your post is right on point, Charu. Feminism has become a widely misconstrued topic nowadays. Why should women crave for equality with men rather than celebrating their own unique identity? Funnily, these so-called feminists are MOST opinionated about homemakers and think they’re only doing this as a surrender to patriarchial upbringing.

  11. Akshata Ram says:

    Way to go.. the best one I read in a long time on Feminism Charu.. as you rightly said Feminism is all about choices and being equal doesnt mean one has to go out and make as much money as men. Its really sad that people misunderstand the term like your friend who said a housewife cant be a feminist. Interestingly women are sometimes sexist and men are feminist! There it goes!

  12. I recently read some one equating domesticity and bread-winning attributes of running a family. Your thoughts too resonate with the same idea. I have had the privilege of being judged earlier as a working mom and now a housewife at the hands of different people. And have come to peace with myself as that’s what matters most. I should be at peace.

  13. Feminism is about choice and not being forced to conform to gender rules. Mutual respect and equality of thought is what is required, though most of us have feminism all confused.

    Namratha from #firstgreenstep #MyFriendAlexa

  14. Priyal says:

    Well written post, respect and equality is what needed in any relationship

  15. Kalpana says:

    There’s so much confusion around feminism. Glad you are there to clarify to people that it’s about choice.

  16. Ranjini says:

    This is indeed the other side of feminism. While women were trying to break free of the kitchen, people don’t understand that it’s not the kitchen we have a problem with. It’s the restrictions that keep us there. We just need the freedom to stay or leave.

  17. Too naive to think that a housewife cant be a feminist! It is rather feminism misunderstood. It is about equality and respect for all beings. Sad that majority fails to understand the essence of it. Very well put Charu.

    Rashmi
    http://Www.notjustmommying.com

  18. Surbhi says:

    I am a feminist homemaker too! Proud of you for penning this post!

  19. mylittleduniya says:

    Yeah housewife by choice and feminist by heart

  20. Very well written post! People do confuse Feminism and pass their judgement be it a housewife or a working woman. All it need is be at your peace and move on!

  21. You have interpreted the true meaning of the word Feminist. The sad truth is that many are unaware or dont want to acknowledge it. It is all about our choice. The freedom to do what we want freely without being encased into predetermined roles. Bold and Beautiful content. #readbypreetispanorama for #MyFriendAlexa

  22. momtasticworld says:

    Well written Charu, I agree in today’s time, one of the words which is misunderstood the most is feminism. Everyone has a different definition while the right definition has to do everything with equality of gender.

  23. Good thoughts, Charu. I agree with your insight as i also made the decision of being a house wife after leaving my 16 years professor job. Never I regretted for the same.

  24. One cannot be more right about a feminist housewife! I agree with every point you have made. When people just shove us away, I feel very irritated. Just because we aren’t working it is not like we are in a den! I regretted leaving my job initially, but truly I understand it takes more courage to stay-at-home in today’s environment and care for a family.

  25. Can’t agree more. You said it Charu. Feminism and related words are highly abused words today.

  26. Maya Bhat says:

    Totally agree with you. I am also a feminist housewife. It is only that this word feminism has been mis interpreted by a bunch of women. Choosing not to work in a corporate world never makes one less important. It is upto the women what to do with her life depending upon the circumstances of life. All what is important is to have a mutual understanding with your partner. The moment wrong sense of feminism creeps in, relationship just becomes a competition to show off who is better than whom. Life doesn’t work like that.

  27. I totally agree with your writing. I think it also sprouts from the fact that most people perceive that women at home do nothing other than watching TV or spending time on WhatsApp

  28. Anks says:

    I echo every sentiment of yours here. People have created feminism into something monstrous when in reality it about equality. I love the way you have described the equal partnership in a marriage. Something like this should be compulsory reading in schools. And taking into account some recent developments in academia, college professors too!

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