Accepting Kids Just The Way They Are
“The way we treat our children directly impacts what they believe about themselves.” I truly believe in this quote by Ariadne Bill. After all parenting is about raising and celebrating the child we have and not the child we thought we would have.
I am a mom of two growing twins and the most common question I faced in the initial years of my motherhood was, ‘Are they similar?’,’ Do they cry/laugh together?’,’ Do they like the same food, same games, etc?‘ I do respect the curiosity that comes with having twins, but this type of a question would leave me puzzled. The word ‘same’ is something I do not resonate with. How can two separate individuals be same? What if we just accepted our children for who they are and the way they are?
Parenting is less about what we want as parents and more about what our kids are or want to be. If we look at things from our children’s point of view, it becomes much easier.
Accepting kids just the way they are
Embrace their individuality
Let’s understand and respect the basic fact that each child is unique and brilliant in his/her own way. That ways it’s easier to accept kids with their own uniqueness. Talking about Aarav & Aarohi (my twins), they are two opposite personalities with their individual choices, interests, needs and likes. One is good in arts & language , the other in science & sports. They have their own shortcomings and strengths too. Honestly, I keep combating this constant urge to compare the two. And the less I compare, more easy it becomes for me to handle and respect their unique individualities.
Let go off expectations
We all have dreams and aspirations for our children, but at some point we need to let them go for our kids to live a life of their own. Like I really want my kids to learn a musical instrument, but so far none of them have any interest in that. Forcing them into it would be so unfair. We can’t push our expectations on our kids. They need to follow their own interests and likings.
Practice unconditional love
We all love our kids unconditionally, but how often do we express this. Our parenting is mostly based on ‘correction’ – correcting their mistakes, behaviour, etc.. Constant correction creates a feeling of non-acceptance in children. Instead of correction, we need to focus on ‘connection’. Get down to their level and try understand their views and feelings. Then try working together to come to solutions. Connect with them instead of correcting them all the time and show them that they will be supported unconditionally
There may be many ways our children don’t fit into our label of ‘original expectations of who they would be’, and while adjusting our expectations can be a long and difficult process, the best gift we can give our kids is to accept them for who they are.
This post is part of the #BlogchatterA2Z challenge run by Blogchatter
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