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To Yell Or Not To Yell : How To Be Patient With Twins

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Having children can bring out the best and worst in parents. And when you have twins, it’s all the more exhausting. They throw challenges at every stage which sometimes get too overwhelming. Read here some tips on how to be patient with twins.

When A&A turned around 2.5 years old, there was a stage when I would find myself losing my temper quite often. They were extremely naughty (still are!) and I would find it tough to remain patient with them. Well, I know I am not alone in this and many parents of two face this. How to choose to react to our children especially when they are at their worse behaviour is a challenge and a tough one for that.

How to stay patient with twins

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In this post I am sharing some ways and tricks that help me manage my anger and stay patient with twins.

Age Appropriate Behavior

A&A love playing with water and every now and then they spill water on the bed or sofa or even their clothes. I find it the most irritating because all I end up doing throughout the day is changing their clothes or bedsheets. But then I often ask myself isn’t it something normal for their age. They are just 3 years old and most of the activities which they do, that result in creating a lot of mess, is something all kids do. So whenever something goes wrong I remind myself the age of my twins and that helps me to respond better to their actions.

Respond, Not React

Whenever I am in situation when kids drive me crazy, I practice a little mindfulness. I take a pause, think and reflect whether I am reacting or responding. Reaction is usually impulsive and extreme, response on the other hand is more calm and well-thought out. Initially I used it react, now I try my best to respond and first understand the situation.

Anger attracts Anger

One thing that I have learnt is kids follow us in action and words. In a situation where they are screaming or throwing a meltdown, my shouting or yelling at them makes things worse. Most of the time when I shout, they shout back. And that no where helps. In order to make them calm, I first need to stay calm myself. It’s tough, especially when we are in an embarrassing situation outdoors, but it gradually does work to bring a behavioral change.

Divert Attention

One good thing with twins is that they don’t always get into trouble at the same time. So when one tries to test my patience, I shift my attention to the other twin who for the moment is behaving well. This helps me to divert my mind and control my seething anger. Also when I praise the well-behaved kid, the other one too sometimes try to change his/her reaction in a positive way.

Walk Away

If diverting attention, doesn’t work. I prefer to walk away from the situation and take a break in the heat of the moment. So I usually go to another room for a few minutes and then come back pacified enough to tackle the situation. Thankfully I have a nanny at home, so when I am away for those few minutes she keeps a watch on the kids ensuring nothing worse happens.

Take Things Easy

Most of my reasons for getting impatient with my kids is when I find them not listening to me or when we are going out and they delay unnecessary. I am someone who always likes to be punctual, so a even a slight delay sometimes upsets me a lot. I  have now learnt to slow down. I now try to start early to get them ready when we have to go somewhere out. Instead of panicking last minute and asking them to hurry up every 2 seconds I now keep some buffer time in hand. And even if we reach a little late for an appointment or an activity, I convince myself that it’s ok and the world won’t coming falling apart.

Laugh Out

Sometimes this seems like the best way out. I try to look at the situation with a sense of humor and force a laugh and that atleast helps me to control and manage my anger. It does work many a times, trust me!

Prevent Reoccurrances

I now know our triggers, that is, things and actions that upset us and are a cause of frustration at our home. I try to prevent them in the first place. So if kids love spilling water and I hate it, I give them a designated corner in the room to do so. I put quick dry sheets on the bed. And when they create mess, I ask them only to clean it. I have realised most of the situations are actually manageable if we try to find out a solution for the same. So instead of boiling my blood and yelling in anger, I now try to look for solutions and alternatives. That’s certainly helps to stay calm and patient with twins. 


Did you find this post useful? What trick do you follow to stay patient with twins? Do share your views in the comments below.


This post is a part of#BlogchatterA2Z Challenge. You can find all 26 posts on ‘A to Z of Twin Parenting under the hashtags #atozoftwinparenting and #themomsagaswrites on Facebook and Twitter

Comments:

17 responses to “To Yell Or Not To Yell : How To Be Patient With Twins”

  1. I’m currently in the phase and is taking a great deal of patience to get through.

  2. bytetrails says:

    All it requires is loads and loads of patience. Kudos to u for doing it right with twins!!

  3. Sarah Shaikh says:

    Love and patience is very much required for the upbringing of kids.Very well return article.

    (Snehalata Jain)

  4. These are some really great advice given by you Charu. In fact I guess we all mums want our children to be best however at times it gets on our nerves too. But using these tips can help us stay calm and manage kids well. Very well written.

  5. Deepika says:

    One of the best post I ever read on parenting. I connect with each and every point. And how you depict everything is commendable. You are right dear, we can’t be strict every time. They are kids, they will not do then who will do?

  6. I guess kids really sometimes tries our patience and the frustration comes out in the form of yelling. It’s not right, I agree and responding more sensibly is always better without terrifying them.

  7. Snehal K says:

    I know how difficult it is to handle twins. By aunt has twins. I must share this post with her! 🙂

  8. Neha Sharma says:

    I can relate to you, Charu, whatever situations you have mentioned have occurred with us too and I can totally understand how that would have felt to you since it was double the trouble. But yes, we do learn from our experiences and eventually find the way out & around. Very helpful post.

  9. jhilmildsaha says:

    These are some great tips for parents having twins. Loved reading this.

  10. I can understand the situation here. We faced a similar one with Penguin. Patience is always tested as a parent. I can relate with you and agree so much. It took me months to figure out the secret that time.

  11. Mom Learning With Baby says:

    Losing temper is so easy,, especially with twins it might be more difficult at times. Thanks for sharing useful tips for parents.

  12. Sharvari Paivaidya Mehan says:

    Absolutely i agree with you walking away helps similarly diverging attention elsewhere calms us down.

  13. MeenalSonal says:

    Completely agree to the pointers in the post. Yes one needs to be mindful while dealing with such situations. I liked “Respond not react ‘ pointer, will practise it at my home.

  14. AMY says:

    I agree with the mentioned points. I would share this with my friend having twins.

  15. Bushra says:

    Agre with you that we should not react or get angry that will bring negativity. Diverting attention is good tips

  16. Neha Jain says:

    These are some helpful tips which you have shared.. parenting is one of the most difficult of all the roles that an individual performs in his lifetime.

  17. roopikais607 says:

    As a mom of twins I can totally relate to the stages of losing it out on kids occasionally! Walking out of the situation works the best for me somehow!

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