Positive Parenting Tips For Parents
While most of us strive to be great parents, we may also find ourselves confused and frustrated by the endless challenges of parenthood. In the spur of the moment, we tend to yell, scream, even punish the child. But does that work in disciplining the child? No, not always.
After being a yeller for a long time, I realised I wasn’t helping myself or my kids. Instead I was only draining out my energy on something that I can’t control. I cannot control the situation, but I can surely control my reaction towards it.
It has been sometime since I came across the positive parenting approach and it has helped me deal with various challenges, that my two naughty twins throw at me everyday, in a much more calm and relaxed manner.
What is positive parenting?
Positive parenting is the continual relationship of parents and children that includes caring, teaching, leading, communicating, and providing for the needs of a child consistently and unconditionally. It is not a rigid system of behaviour management but instead training children towards self-control. It doesn’t include punishment or force, but mere respect and communication with the child.
How does positive parenting help?
The joy of positive parenting is that it strengthens the parent-child relationship. It builds in trust in children that their parents won’t use force or power to make them follow rules. It rather nurtures a relationship of mutual respect and love. Children internalize discipline and not just follow it for the heck if it. And we as parents learn to stay patient, calm and supportive
Effective Positive Parenting Strategies
Sharing with you a few positive parenting strategies that I try follow
1 Open communication
Best to resolve any type of conflict with the child with empathy, validation and healthy communication skills. I keep a transparent communication with my kids and share our expectations clearly. This helps in setting house rules and ensuring they understand the logic behind the rules and not just follow them because they are asked to. For ex- explaining them reason why they need to finish their homework before moving to screentime or why meal time is best enjoyed without screens.
2. Use Positive Language & Positive Reinforcement
Punishment leads to resentment and fear. I try to set clear boundaries and expectations for behaviour & use effective, non-harsh ways to discipline. Using positive language helps. Instead of saying ‘stop yelling’ or ‘don’t hit’, I prefer to say ‘quiet voice’, ‘Hands to yourself’. Another way is to reinforcing positive behaviour. Instead of scolding them for bad behavior, I appreciate on good behavior. Example – ‘I love it when you wind up the toys on your own’.
3. Be consistent
We often make house rules but give up when the child throws a lot of tantrums. I try stick to the rules and let the kids know the same. We dont need to raise your voice. But we don’t need give in to the demand just because they will cry or have a meltdown. Staying consistent is the key here. Once we bend the rules, children get know and would want us to do that everytime.
4. Show them respect
Its not just we adults who wish to eh respected, but even kids do. No kid ever wants to be treated as a kid. Dismissing their viewpoint or not lending an ear to them simply is, Ina way, disrespecting their individuality. Instead, listen to them, pay attention to what they want to say and then explain why their favorite dino tou can’t join them at the dinner table as per the rules of the house.
5. Give up control
Half of our frustration rises from the fact that our kids don’t follow what w e ask them to follow. I often ask myself am I angry because my child didn’t do the thing or because he didn’t do the thing the way I asked him to? Incase of later I let it go. We got to stop controlling the situation. The only thing we can control is ourself – our emotions and reactions.
6. Encourage Independence
Kids want to do things on their own. Half of the time we stop them due to our over protectiveness. As parents we got to be a guide, not the doer. This will help our children grow capable and responsible. Let them take charge and do things their way . This will boost their self -confidence as well as assure them that we are there to hold them in case of a mistake.
7. Build connection
Our routine includes lots of play and quality time that help build connection. And while doing so I try to express my joy and enthusiasm for being with them. enthusiasm. I involve them in family activities and we spend quality time playing games, reading books, baking together, etc.
8. Focus on self-care
Happy parents raise happy children. An empty vessel can’t pour. So I take some time out for myself to rejuvenate relax and calm my mind. This helps me stay positive and full of energy to deal with any situation.
Positive parenting strategies take immense patience, consistency and practice. It can be hard but the benefits are innumerable. Our childrem turn out to be much more responsible and patient, if we respond to their behaviour in an age-appropriate, respectful manner.
This post is part of the #BlogchatterA2Z challenge run by Blogchatter
Found this article helpful? Do leave your views in the comments below.
Follow me for more on –