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Ways To Soothe Anger: Anger Management For Moms

I always thought I am a patient person, until I became a mother. I then realized that one of the most difficult emotions to deal as a parent, is ‘anger’.

Imagine how would I react in situations like these-

1. I clean the toys, roll the clothes back in the cupboard, tidy the room that seems like a ‘war-zone’ and leave to take a bath. I return and all I see is the same mess created again, this time worse than before.

2. I prepare a healthy snack after spending hours in the kitchen. With great enthusiasm I give it to my kids to munch and all they do is take a bite and chuck away the rest, mostly spilling it all on the floor.

3. Feeling frustrated, I react and scold my kids for their mischief. But what do I see? They’re are all the more amused,  giggling and chuckling at my antics, as if I am one unique clown ready to entertain them.  

Sounds familiar? Situations like these and many more are an inevitable part of a mother’s life. And as much as the situations are unavoidable, reacting to them with fury is natural too. But does that always work? 

Anger does more harm than good, especially in the case of kids. We as parents cannot suppress this emotion but we can surely avoid expressing it. More so because our kids are watching us. Their every emotion and behavior is based on our reaction. They simply learn by the examples we set for them.

So, next time if you face a similar situation and cannot stop being angry, try doing this-

  1. Walk out of the situation

Whenever you are infuriated, simply walk out of the room and let the kids do what they want. Giving some time-out to oneself really helps in controlling the situation. I, usually, go in another room to distract myself and return only when I feel a little more settled and calm.

2. Distract the kids

When kids are in no mood to listen and continue to do the task that’s infuriating, try distracting them. Divert their mind to another interesting task which demands them to leave the situation. So the trick is if you cannot walk out to another room, let the kids go.

  1. Cry, Sing, Eat Chocolate

Sounds weird? But this works! When I can’t express my anger, I cry! With a few tears, my frustration also rolls down the cheeks. If that doesn’t make me feel better, I try to sing aloud. Yes, as loud as I can. And when even that fails, I grab my favorite chocolate and munch it with full force. And trust me, with each bite I feel better. So the idea is to do what makes you feel better. Be it a cup of coffee or a warm bath- find what works to helps you relieve the stress.

  1. Ask for help

Do not hesitate in asking for help when you need it. Better yet, ask before you need it. If that requires your husband or someone else to manage the kids while you try to be at peace with yourself, then so be it.

  1. Meditate


This is one technique that relaxes the mind and helps combat the negative emotions. Sit back, pause, close your eyes and mediate. Even a 5 minutes of meditation can soothe your mind and help to create a peaceful mood.

  1. Practice Mindfulness

Make a conscious effort to practice staying calm. Everytime you find yourself in such a situation, think and reflect whether you are reacting or responding. Reaction could be impulsive and extreme, response is always well-thought out, calm and non-threatening. A little mindfulness in this regard helps to deal with any situation in a more positive way.

I have tried many ways to deal with anger and these six have worked the best so far. And while I feel happy that I could successfully devise some strategies to soothe my anger, the fact that all this is triggered by mere one-year olds doesn’t fail to surprise me.  

What’s your trick to soothe anger? Do share with us what works for you.


You may also like to read Dealing With A Clingy Baby: My Learnings And Experiences


This Post Has 31 Comments

  1. i love the reacting or responding thing. I will definitely try this tip in my next fit (which should be anytime in a few few minutes now!)

  2. Neha Jain

    Nice post Charu.. All the tips that you have mentioned really work. This is something that every mom should work on.

  3. vaidehiyoutube

    haha ha
    The first situation which you have described is me.I mean I will clean everything, tidy the room and after a while it gets messier than before.
    I try to remain cam and walk out of the situation.Loved your tips for anger management.

  4. I can so relate. Sometimes I lose my temper like the flick of a switch. Its cumulative frustration, sleep deprivation, exhaustion and just plain helplessness. I do try consciously to control anger. It is difficult but one can always try.

  5. Shipra Trivedi

    I am very much related to the point 3 Cry, Sing, Eat Chocolate.Because I do the similar thing. But as I have accepted I am poor in managing my temper so I have not yet thought to blog about this prompt. Such a useful post. Sharing it on twitter.

  6. Geethica

    I know a little mindfulness makers a big difference. And meditating really helps but later not during that moment?

    1. It does help me during the moment too. If I leave to another room, close my eyes and meditate for 5 mins, I certainly feel better and enabled to react more rationally.

  7. kreativemommy

    Singing, getting distracted, meditation, mindfulness etc. are all good points but not everything works everytime. We moms try different things but depends on situations what works for us. Thanks for linking up with #MondayMommyMoments.

    1. True! So that’s what, we have to figure out what works for us and follow it. Being conscious at the moment and finding the best way to distract ourselves is what’s required.

  8. Jiya B

    I agree anger management is must especially for moms as a mothers patience is put to test every now and then.

  9. misha jain

    you are all right yaa.. but seriously., i am not as composed as u guys are.. best i can manage is gwtting away

  10. anubhutisethmehn

    I almost have same methods to my rescue …and by god’s grace, I have my voice retained 😉

  11. Anchal

    I use the crying technique too. And within seconds my anger is gone.

  12. Hi Charu
    When I read the point about distracting the kid ,I wondered why I forgot to write this too.Whenever my daughter refuses to listen I tickle her hard till she laughs and hugs me and is ready to listen.Chocolate helps too!Thank you for writing with us for #MondayMommyMoments.

  13. bhavika

    very well elaborated mommy, thanks for the ideas

  14. MerogAndMom

    Leaving the place immediately always works for me when I get angry?Thanks for sharing ao many ways to control anger while handling kids.

  15. Veens

    WHat a great post. Going to the toilet helps me sometimes ? but I often cant control it. Great post and i will try some of these techniques

  16. Rajiv Bakshi

    Great post . Your ‘ anger ‘ management tips are helpful to Mommies ! And also to Dads & Grand Dads ! ???

  17. Richa

    Wow these are some great and awesome initiatives dear….. I really have the same situations and need to be work on mediation for sure.


  18. Soniya Bhatt

    hey! these are so great tips to control anger ?
    It’s important not to shout on kids until the situation is serious ?

  19. carkhanablog

    Interesting easy solutions to some situations that we come across on daily basis

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