Dare To Break Free – Taking The Plunge To Beat My Fear
Holi is a major festival celebrated in India with a lot of enthusiasm! The festival of colors is considered to bring joy and prosperity. Imagine a girl who is afraid to celebrate this festival, not because she doesn’t like it but because she has some unusual fears.
Fear is a human emotion and there is no one in the world who hasn’t ever experienced it. Those who are close to me and know me well, know about my fear as well. Since childhood I have had a major fear- which is the fear of colored faces ! Yes, you read this right! This sounds unusual to many but ask me and I can vouch that this fear is very much real. I have never celebrated the festival of Holi in my childhood and I still don’t celebrate it at the age of 30!
Fear is an unpleasant yet powerful emotion that takes hold of you and makes you frightened and worried. If not overcome on time, it tends to take a shape of phobia and impacts the person mentally and emotionally. And so its important to conquer your fears and dare to break free.
My fear of colored faces is an unexplained one. Since childhood, I can’t bear the sight of a colored face, especially on the day of Holi. If I see one by any chance, I start palpitating and my heart beats fast! The face once seen haunts me for days to come and I can’t sleep with closed eyes. The very idea of touching colors or watching a colored face unnerves me and that’s the reason I never step out of my house on the day of Holi. I often fall sick, suffer from high temperature around this time of the year due to my unusual phobia.
People often ask me – why afraid of colored faces! They don’t harm you. They probably don’t harm me but surely impact my mind and take my peace away. I don’t know how to explain this fear of mine but all I can say it overwhelms me, kind-of consumes my soul and renders me incapable of thinking or doing anything else. On the day of Holi, I often find myself fighting a battle between my heart and my mind. My heart wants me to venture out with my family and celebrate the joyous festival but my mind that is consumed by fear pushes me to go in a hideout, leaving me weak and totally incapable.
As a child, I have faced a lot of bully in school due to this unusual fear. My friends always addressed me as ‘Darpok’. My parents thought that may be with age I would grow brave and this fear would eventually die. Apparently, I could never overcome it fully. I became a butt of joke in front of my friends and relatives. Even till I got married I couldn’t help my self and would feel devastated and helpless. My fear had not just impacted me but also those around me. My parents and husband too stopped celebrating Holi eventually.
Last year my kids celebrated their first festival in play school and it was this festival which I dread the most. They came back home with colored faces and I realised I couldn’t see them neither go close to them. That’s when I decided I have to do something for myself. The realization struck me that the debilitating affect of my fear may impact my kids too. I want my children to be fear free. I want them to live freely and enjoy this festival fully and so I determined to take that plunge to beat my fear and dare to break free.
Dare to Break Free – How Difficult It Is To Beat Your Fear
To answer the question, it isn’t easy! It requires a lot of courage to come to terms with your fear. It is usually said that the only way to overcome your fear is to face it! Well that is one important step towards it but there is a lot more that’s required.
The first and most important step is to accept your fears and talk about them. It isn’t easy to share your weakness with the world, especially when the world is full of sadists and mockers who won’t understand the seriousness of your emotions. For me, writing this post, sharing my weakness and talking about my personal emotion is in itself a daring act and a step towards beating my fear.
Second, it’s about going slow and taking baby steps. Conquering fear isn’t an easy deal and can’t happen within a day. I was once forcefully colored by a few friends on Holi and though I met my fear closely, I still couldn’t overcome it. I realized more than anyone else helping me, I have to help myself and that can only happen if I go slow and take baby steps. Last Holi, I gathered the courage to move out of my house- be it for a few minutes but I did take a small attempt to push my limit! It may sound silly to many but think from the perspective of someone suffering from a phobia and has never done it before- It’s HUGE!
Next, it’s about coming face to face with your fears . I often ask myself what’s the worst thing that can happen if I face my fear. Would I faint? May be yes! Would I die? Of course Not! In order to take this plunge, I have to once experience it. And so this Holi I have promised myself and my family that I will indulge in a mini celebration of colors. Probably that will be the last and final step towards breaking free from my fear. I may not enjoy it, may not even repeat it but at least I would feel liberated after it. I have already started mentally preparing myself and hopefully on the day I would garner courage to meet what I dread.
All these years of my life I have realized that fear as an emotion is shackling. It stifles your mind and suffocates your soul. To conquer it, you have to fight a personal battle with your own thoughts. And you win half the battle once you determine to help yourself and take the required steps. While I am still fighting my battle, I am glad that I have atleast taken the plunge to beat my fears and dare to break free.
Featured Image Credit- pixabay.com
This post is a part of Dare-a-thon hosted by The Momsteins. I would like to thank Preetjyot Kaur from Mylittlemuffin.com for introducing me to this blog train. I would now like to introduce Prisha from Mummasaurus.com. Hop on their blogs and read their amazing narratives of courage and dare.
What have been your biggest fears? Did you ever dare to break free from them? Share your views in the comments below.