Practical Ways To Ease Parental Anxiety

Practical Ways To Ease Parental Anxiety

A few months back, we shifted cities. It was a big move for us and we were kind of prepared for the same. Yet my mom brain was super anxious, more worried about the kids- how will they adjust in a new place, new weather, new environment, new school. It’s a different story that they adjusted much faster than I thought but my anxiety level was all-time high at that time.

As parents aren’t we always , ALWAYS anxious about the well-being of our kids? Whether they are young or old, our parental anxiety never stops!

But the problem starts when this basic worry stirs up our fears & make us fret over small things. When we get caught up in a negative cycle of thoughts and spend much of our energy lecturing, hovering or nagging instead of connecting with our children. When we start parenting out of fear rather than from a calm and realistic place.

Honestly, I experienced this some time back & it wasn’t a happy feeling. The constant chain of thoughts made me panic even more – ‘Will my child be healthy if he doesn’t drink milk’… ‘Will he do well in sports’..’ What if he is bullied in school’…etc

It’s natural to want to protect our kids from what might happen or make sure nothing bad ever happens. But constantly thinking or worrying about it somewhere takes away our rationality.

Personally, in such situations I try to name my fears, speak them aloud & discuss with my husbands. Other than that I also follow a more scientific approach to deal with such thoughts.

Here are some practical ways that help me ease parental anxiety-

Know what we can and can’t control

We can’t control everything. Let’s accept that! Giving them healthy food options at home is in our hands but making them ‘love’ broccoli may not. Best to put our efforts into what we have control over and let go of what we don’t.

Reassess- What Am I Really Anxious About?

Try to assess the real problem. Is it that my child isn’t studying well or is it my child isn’t studying the way his classmates do? Reassessing this way will help us attend the actual problem, calm us down and improve our relation with our kids.

Live in the Present

Most of my anxiety stems from thinking- “what if” (What if my child feels lonely in new school, what if he is bullied by someone, what if he gets hurt). A tentative future scenario can’t rule our present. Everytime the ‘what if’ situation hits, I bring myself back to the “now”. I rather think what can I do now that would be helpful for my child both now and in the future.

Focus on Self

A lot of times it’s our own exhaustion that translates into our stress and anxiety. Let’s be easy on ourself. That will help us stay calm and be in charge of our own life rather than living in reaction to everyone around us. Not everything in our child’s life is our “job”! Each member of the family holds equal responsibility.

We all worry because we love our children a lot and wish to protect them from life’s struggles and disappointments. But instead of THINKING about what’s not in our control for now, if we choose to act on the things that are possible and realistic, we will feel much calmer and do much better as a parent.

How often do you experience parental anxiety & any specific way that works for you to deal with it? Do share in the comments below.