Motherhood

The Hardest Part Of Motherhood: Being Both A Mom and A SuperMom

Every phase of motherhood brings certain challenges. For a woman, the hardest part of being a mother is to accept the challenge that she is posed with, at each step of her motherhood journey, and emerge victorious at the end.

My twins are 19 months old now and are learning to make sense of the world around them. I am currently in that phase of motherhood where my kids feel I am a Super Mom and have special abilities through which I can solve any problem.

The other day, I gave a cookie to my son. As he took his first bite, it broke into two. He did not want his cookie to break and wanted to gulp the entire piece as a whole. With eyes full of tears and some hope, the first person he came running to was his Mom. He wanted me to fix that cookie back. Somewhere,  he felt his mom has superpowers by which she can fix everything right. I tried giving him a new cookie but that did not help the situation. 

To mention another incident, my kids were in  the garden when it suddenly started raining. My daughter loves playing on the swings and so did not want to go back home. But at the same time she did not want to get drenched too. She started crying, making an appeal to her mom to STOP the rain. Somewhere, she felt her mom can do anything, even if it means changing the course of nature.

Motherhood

Whenever there is a doubt or a trouble, the first person children rush to is their Mom. For them mums can do magical wonders. They have special powers through which they can solve all their problems –  be it big or small.

As a mom it certainly makes me feel special because my children choose to place their trust on me over anyone else. I feel special because they think I am the superwoman of their life. But it also places a responsibility on my shoulder. The responsibility of always being right, of always keeping their hopes high, of never failing in their eyes.

For me the hardest part of motherhood is to justify myself as a human with no super power, and yet not letting my children lose their faith in me. Explaining this could be easier to the world, but not to young children whose universe revolves around their mom. For kids that young, their mom can never be wrong. To make them realize that moms are a human being at the end and are bound to err, is the most difficult part of parenting.

Motherhood

As a mother, I want my children to believe in me and know that I will always be there for them. I will do my best to help them out in every situation. But I also want them to know that  I am a human at the end, with my own set of limitations.

Probably, as they would grow, they would be in a better position to understand this fact. But till the time they don’t, I will have to take this as a challenge and figure out ways to deal with both the roles – that of a Mom and of a Super Mom. 

 

Do you relate to this? You may also like reading My Parenting Mantra: Keeping The Promises Of Parenting

 

This post is a link up with Amrita andDeepa for #MondayMommyMomments
(Follow on Twitter @DeepaGandhi1 and @misra_amrita )

Proud Blogger for

Ang-tatva: Pamper Your Skin The Organic Way

Ang-tatva Natural Beauty Products Review

Amongst the many changes that occur in a woman’s body during pregnancy, the most daunting one is that related to her skin and physical appearance. When I conceived, while I could easily deal with my growing belly and the shapeless physique, what really bothered me was the problems of skin acne, dark spots and pigmentation.

As a young girl I had a flawless skin. Thanks to my mother who used to take care of my diet and pamper my skin with her lovely home-made packs. But as I grew out of the happy cocoon of my mom’s house, I never got time to pamper myself the same way. Hence resorting to the ready made beauty products seemed to be an easy option.

Now when the pregnancy hormones started playing their game on my skin, I again tried to find the easy way out and relied upon all the fancy creams and beauty products that claimed to provide an immediate solution. I hate to say that none seemed to show the desired results. Apart from digging a big hole in my pocket, the unwanted chemicals in these products ended up doing more harm than good.

I had almost given up missing my flawless skin and adjusted with the fact that acne and dark spots are probably going to be my friends for life. Just then I stumbled upon this brand called Ang-tatva, which offered a perfect home-made solution to all my skin related problems.

About Ang-tatva

Ang-tatva

Ayurveda has immense power in healing different ailments. When it comes to skin, natural remedies followed by our great ancestors work wonders. Believing in the goodness of nature and the multiple effects it can have on human body, Misha, a fashion designer and blogger by profession, aimed to provide an organic alternative to various chemical based beauty products that are available in the market. Hence her brand Ang-tatva was born with a vision to provide fresh and personalized beauty and skin care products derived by miraculous herbs and powerful kitchen ingredients.

What’s unique about Ang-tatva is that each of its product is customized to suit individual needs and problems. Isn’t it great to know that there is one brand that understands our individual beauty related concerns and provides a special customised home-made solution to the same?

My Experience

I got a chance to interact with Misha and discuss with her all the issues related to my skin. Keeping my problem areas in mind, she came up with a special tailor-made solution and sent across three wondrous products- Scrub Off, Anti-Acne Mask and Ang-tatva Soaps. I have been using these products for a long time. Here is my take on each of them-

KAYA TATVA – SCRUB OFF

Ingredients: brown sugar, gram flour, kesar, few ayurvedic blends.
Price: Rs 550 for a pack of 100g

I started to use the scrub as per the instructions mentioned on the container, i.e, taking a spoonful of the same and mixing with little honey and lemon juice. The scrub was gentle and easy to use. I rubbed it for 4-5 minutes and then allowed it to rest for some time. Unlike other scrubs it did not stick on my skin and could easily be rinsed off with warm water. After the first use itself, I could feel it’s magic. The immediate freshness on my face was evident. All the dead skin was gone and my face was smooth to touch so much so that I wanted to pinch my own cheeks.

KAYA TATVA- ANTI ACNE MASK

Ingredients: rice flour, lemon rind, orange peel, turmeric powder, lodhra, yastimadhu and few pulses mix.
Price: Rs 459 for a 75g container

This pack could be used by mixing with egg or rose water. Since I hate the smell of raw eggs I chose to try it with rose water. As I applied it on my face, I was reminded of the same home-made packs that my mum used to make for me years ago. I easily sat reminiscing the old days while the pack was left to dry. On removing it, my skin wasn’t dry or flaky. In fact, it was fresh and rejuvenated. With consistent use of this mask over a period of time, I could see gradual reduction of acne and dark spots.

ANG-TATVA SOAPS

I have used two cleansing soaps by Ang-tatva

1.Deep Cleaning Charcoal Soap

This consists of glycerin goat milk and activated charcoal. It costs Rs 325 for 2 bars.

2. Lime and orange glycerin soap

This is made of lime extract, orange peel powder, glycerin and coconut oil. This rose-shaped soap is priced at Rs 225 for 2 bars.

Both the soaps have a mesmerizing aroma which lasts long on the skin. They lather well and leave the skin soft and supple after every use. I specially loved the fragrance of the lime and orange soap and wished it could last long. But given the fact that these soaps are handmade and do not contain chemicals in any form, they tend to melt fast.

The Mom Sagas’ Take On Ang-tatva Products

I loved the three products that I used and would absolutely recommend it, especially if you are looking for a customized solution for specific skin and hair related problems.

Hits:

1. All the products are chemical free and fully organic.

2. They are homemade and personally curated as per the individual need.

3. One can feel the goodness after the first use itself as its result is immediate.

4. Each product comes with a special personalized message with the name of the recipient written on it. Reading my name on the jar brought a big smile on my face.

5. The ingredients and directions to use are clearly mentioned on the packs (except for the soaps)

6. The expiry date as well as precautionary note on how to perform a patch test is clearly stated too.

7. These products are delivered at your doorsteps with proper packaging.

Lows:

1.They come in glass jars and so need to be handled with care.

2. Since these products are made of kitchen ingredients, herbs and natural elements, some of them have a strong smell which may not be pleasant for everyone.

I can easily say that my search for a perfect brand that can take care of my skin in the most gentle and organic way, has ended. I am one happy customer of Ang-tatva. After their skin care range I am now planning to pamper myself with their hair oils and masks. Want to have a look at their wonderful collection? Click here. You can also find them on Facebook and Instagram.

There are many more Moms vouching for Ang-tatva’s natural beauty products. Click here to read Jasmeet’s experience of using Ang-tatva’s D-Tan Pack and Under-eye Roll. Also read Udita’s review of their D-tan Face Scrub and Pack.

Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post. I was sent these products by Misha to use and share my experience. The review holds my honest opinion and personal observations of using these products for over a month.

Also read my review of Mamaearth’s under eye cream and body cream for stretch marks

Ways To Soothe Anger: Anger Management For Moms

I always thought I am a patient person, until I became a mother. I then realized that one of the most difficult emotions to deal as a parent, is ‘anger’.

Imagine how would I react in situations like these-

1. I clean the toys, roll the clothes back in the cupboard, tidy the room that seems like a ‘war-zone’ and leave to take a bath. I return and all I see is the same mess created again, this time worse than before.

2. I prepare a healthy snack after spending hours in the kitchen. With great enthusiasm I give it to my kids to munch and all they do is take a bite and chuck away the rest, mostly spilling it all on the floor.

3. Feeling frustrated, I react and scold my kids for their mischief. But what do I see? They’re are all the more amused,  giggling and chuckling at my antics, as if I am one unique clown ready to entertain them.  

Sounds familiar? Situations like these and many more are an inevitable part of a mother’s life. And as much as the situations are unavoidable, reacting to them with fury is natural too. But does that always work? 

Anger does more harm than good, especially in the case of kids. We as parents cannot suppress this emotion but we can surely avoid expressing it. More so because our kids are watching us. Their every emotion and behavior is based on our reaction. They simply learn by the examples we set for them.

So, next time if you face a similar situation and cannot stop being angry, try doing this-

1. Walk out of the situation

Whenever you are infuriated, simply walk out of the room and let the kids do what they want. Giving some time-out to oneself really helps in controlling the situation. I, usually, go in another room to distract myself and return only when I feel a little more settled and calm.

2. Distract the kids

When kids are in no mood to listen and continue to do the task that’s infuriating, try distracting them. Divert their mind to another interesting task which demands them to leave the situation. So the trick is if you cannot walk out to another room, let the kids go.

3. Cry, Sing, Eat Chocolate

Sounds weird? But this works! When I can’t express my anger, I cry! With a few tears, my frustration also rolls down the cheeks. If that doesn’t make me feel better, I try to sing aloud. Yes, as loud as I can. And when even that fails, I grab my favorite chocolate and munch it with full force. And trust me, with each bite I feel better. So the idea is to do what makes you feel better. Be it a cup of coffee or a warm bath- find what works to helps you relieve the stress.

4. Ask for help

Do not hesitate in asking for help when you need it. Better yet, ask before you need it. If that requires your husband or someone else to manage the kids while you try to be at peace with yourself, then so be it.

5. Meditate

anger

This is one technique that relaxes the mind and helps combat the negative emotions. Sit back, pause, close your eyes and mediate. Even a 5 minutes of meditation can soothe your mind and help to create a peaceful mood.

6. Practice Mindfulness

Make a conscious effort to practice staying calm. Everytime you find yourself in such a situation, think and reflect whether you are reacting or responding. Reaction could be impulsive and extreme, response is always well-thought out, calm and non-threatening. A little mindfulness in this regard helps to deal with any situation in a more positive way.

I have tried many ways to deal with anger and these six have worked the best so far. And while I feel happy that I could successfully devise some strategies to soothe my anger, the fact that all this is triggered by mere one-year olds doesn’t fail to surprise me.  

What’s your trick to soothe anger? Do share with us what works for you.

 

You may also like to read Dealing With A Clingy Baby: My Learnings And Experiences

This post is a link up with Amrita andDeepa for #MondayMommyMomments
(Follow on Twitter @DeepaGandhi1 and @misra_amrita )

Proud Blogger for

Healthwealthbridge

 

 

Being A Teacher: My Learnings And Hopes From This Profession


It is usually said, ‘teaching is one profession that makes all other professions’. Being a teacher, therefore, is not that easy as it seems.

Having taught in a secondary school, I gained a deep perspective about this profession. During my B.ed days, I thought teaching is all about imparting knowledge, making students learn and creating an understanding of concepts in a simple yet interesting way. However, a practical experience of addressing a class full of bright minds, made me realize that teaching is all this and much more.

As a teacher, I have a huge responsibility on my shoulders. I just don’t have to teach a few young souls so that they pass from one grade to another but also train them to understand what they are and want to be; introduce them with their own abilities; enable them to deal with certain shortcomings and prepare them to face life with all its challenges.

So when I used to enter my class, I not only needed a lesson plan in my hand that would tell me how to engage my listeners for the next forty minutes, but also some clarity in my mind of how to enhance the young and dynamic personalities that I got a chance to deal with and groom them into wonderful human beings.

Being a teacher, therefore, required me to first be a good learner. Having mastery over my subject wasn’t enough. I had to constantly learn and upgrade my knowledge. I had to learn how to enable learning in a classroom of 40 students. I had to be creative enough to create their interest in a subject that they may like or dislike. Thus, each day I had to acquire a new art and practice a new skill.

Teacher
Teacher

Teaching a curriculum is exacting, and teaching the same curriculum over the years to a different group of students is testing. Hence, comes the challenge of giving a new twist to an old tale. Being a teacher, required me to discover various ways through which I could break monotony and practice ingenuity. This was possible only when I ardently loved my profession and put my heart and soul into whatever I did as an educator.

In the course of my career, I also realized that as a teacher I may err to be an influencer. To teach implies enabling students to think and helping them develop their own point of view. It’s easy for kids to be influenced by the thinking of the teacher which has a risk of damaging their creativity. Hence I always felt the danger of imposing my own beliefs and values on them. Maintaining a thin line difference between the two and helping kids grow as independent thinkers is the toughest part of this profession. While speaking to my students, I always had to be cautious. If a parent used to come up with a remark that ‘my child is really influenced by you’ or ‘my child loves to copy your style of writing or speaking’, I never took it as a compliment. Rather, I used to get perturbed and reflect on changes I needed to bring in my own teaching methodologies.

There is a lot of hard work, knowledge, passion and compassion that goes into the making of  a  teacher.  It sinks my heart to see how this profession, in spite of its noble stature, is yet to receive it’s due. It’s still the most underrated and underpaid profession(especially, in the private sector). The teachers, at times, are subject to exploitation by all- the employers, the parents and, to an extent, even the students. The common perception still holds- ‘if you can’t be in any other profession, you can at least be a teacher’.  However no one admits, that had there not been a teacher, no other profession would have been possible.

 

Do you want to read more teachers views on this. Check out this interesting post by Vidhi Duggal : Parent-teacher Relationship: Don’t Criticize Let’s Coordinate

Also read this thoughtful poetic piece that I wrote when I observed so many changes in my life after taking the job of a teacher – The Change.

Featured: Embrace The Mess Made By Kids

Childhood is one stage of life when you are allowed to do whatever you want to. Be it creating mess or having fun- there is nothing stopping a child. And probably that’s why childhood is the best.

My kids love to create mess. Sometimes with mud, sometimes with paint but mostly with their food. They have their own way of having fun in which  ‘messy meals’ play a major role. While my son is a little less messy, my daughter hates cleanliness. Ever since she has started eating solids, there is not a single meal she has had when her clothes have not been ruined, in spite of all the bibs and protectors.

As a parent, I always want my kids to be shiny clean. But I also realize that kids ‘learn by doing’. Soiled clothes, painted hands, food stains and spills- all are a part of their growing up process. So it’s best to embrace the mess and let kids enjoy. Because if they won’t then who will?

mess

I was asked by Babychakra, a leading parenting app, to share our experience of how we embrace this mess at home. My kids love to self-feed and so ‘messy meals’ is a part of our everyday routine. After each meal, I dread at the sight of my girl’s clothes.  As much I detest it, the cleanliness-freak mom in me still never stops her from having her own.  Simply because cleaning is no more a nightmare now. There is a magical detergent meant for all mothers only to help them embrace this mess.

Read the entire piece here to know all about this-

Babychakra- Embrace The Mess Because Cleaning Is Made Easy Now

You may also enjoy reading A Unique Letter To Santa Claus, a funny letter on behalf of my kids to dear Santa.

Globetrotters Box

Review: Globetrotters Country Box

As a child I would always have a box in which I would collect stamps and souvenirs gathered from different places. Those small collectibles not just added to my wonderful memories but also made me learn a lot about the places I would visit.  When I first saw the Globetrotters box, I was reminded of my childhood days. I could see a modern day equivalent to my treasured memory box. While I was filled with nostalgia, I was equally excited to explore what this discovery box had to offer.

The Globetrotters Country Box is full of highly stimulating and skill enhancing activities that make learning fun and interesting for kids. In today’s times when kids have fascination for YouTube videos, activity-based subscription boxes are a great alternative to keep kids happily engaged.

What is Globetrotters Box

Globetrotters Box

Globetrotters Box is a creative way to make children learn about different countries of the world. With the aim of developing a sense of discovery and adventure in kids, these boxes are full of DIY activities that provide kids a fun-based learning experience.

These are monthly subscription boxes designed for kids between 4-12 years of age. Each month a country themed activity box is delivered at your doorstop. The boxes include countries like Australia, Japan, Egypt, Italy, UK and US and contain carefully curated activities that can keep kids involved for a long time. 

 

What’s Inside A Globetrotters Box.

Each Globetrotters box contains 4 to 5 activities that revolve around a country. Activities vary from art and craft to simple puzzles and more. Everything related to the specific country is included in the pack in the form of flash cards, souvenirs or activity sheets. 

The first box comes with a large world map and a passport! After that with each new box, child receives various stickers that can be added to the passport. Isn’t it an awesome way to create curiosity and enthusiasm in kids?

Price and Availability

There are various types of Globetrotters boxes available-

1.Little Explorers world kit for kids aged 4-6 years

2. Young Explorers world kit for kids aged 6- 12 years.

3. Party boxes which are craft kits for kids above 3 years of age.

The country based subscription boxes are priced at Rs 799 and the craft kit vary from Rs 399 to Rs 699, depending upon the theme. They are available under various subscription plans of 3 months, 6 months and 9 months. You can check the entire range and all the available subscription plans on their website here.

Our Experience

We received the Globetrotters UK Country box. The box looked promising from outside. Since it is meant for kids aged 4 to 6 years, it was my 5 years old niece who tried it. She loves art and craft and so thoroughly enjoyed each and every activity that was included in the kit.

Her excitement had no bound when she saw a  special letter by her pen pals from Planet Mozo who took her to the beautiful and royal land of UK.

As she opened the box further, she found the following-

1. A Passport (for entering the country)

2. Large Illustrated World Map (Premium quality)

3. DIY  Medieval Royal Castle Activity Kit

4. UK Flag Fridge Magnet Activity Kit

5. British Royal Crown Activity Kit

6. UK Big Ben Craft Based Kit

7. Flash cards on famous monuments of UK

8. A Royal Guard Souvenir that can be preserved as a momento for visiting UK

While she enjoyed doing all the activities, her most favourite one was crafting the Big Ben. Somehow the idea of a clock tower fascinated her a lot.

With the help of flash cards she could remember the names of all the famous monuments of UK. 

Through this country box, she learnt many facts about UK’s culture, history and lifestyle and guess what, she now wants to visit UK soon.

What’s Impressive About Globetrotters Box

1. Activities included in the box are well-researched and age appropriate.

2. They provide a holistic experience to kids and cover development of various skills like problem solving, number skills and fine motor skills.

3. The activities are highly engaging aimed at building imagination and creative learning.

4. Most of the activities focus on DIY art and craft which can keep the child engaged for hours together.

5. All the material for each activity( like glue, sketch pens, sheets, etc) is included in the kit. Also the material is of premium quality.

6. The instructions and guidelines for each activity is also mentioned in detail.

7. Parents can join their kids in their journey to a new country and enjoy some fun-filled family time.

What Could Have Been Better

1. Since most of the activities are art and craft based, they can only be performed once. And so the material given is not reusable. 

2. While the other country boxes include puzzles along with DIY activity kits, the one we received didn’t include any puzzle. It would be great to see a balance of both craft based kits, coloring sheets and puzzles in all the country boxes.

My niece wants to try all the country boxes one by one and embellish her room with all the souvenirs, monuments and items she would craft with each kit. Now doesn’t that sound like a plan?

Globetrotters box is a wonderful way to make kids learn about geography and cultures around the globe. That too by involving them in hands-on fun that encourages curiosity, boosts creativity, and instills confidence. If your child is between the age of 4 to 12, you must subscribe to Globetrotters Box to provide him/her a unique learning experience.

 

Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post. I was sent this country box to explore and share my views about it. The review holds my personal experience and honest opinions of trying all the activities that were included in the box.

 

Also read  Review: Funky Monkeys Indoor Play Area 

My Parenting Mantra: Keeping The Promises Of Parenting

Howdy, Welcome to the blog train- My Parenting Mantra. Find on board some awesome bloggers who will drive this train for a month and share their enriching and unique parenting experience.

Thanks to Neha who blogs at SharingOurExperiences for introducing me.

Meet the fellow blogger moms who are a part of this blog train here.

Parenting poses a unique challenge to every parent. While there is no one golden rule that all parents follow, there is however one particular mantra that’s unique to each parent. This mantra that they follow is based on their lifestyle, values, and individual choices. In our case, this mantra is based upon the very fact that we have twins.

I always felt that parenting doesn’t need any rules,  until I became a parent myself. I then realized that these rules are not rules so to say, but some promises that each parent makes to oneself in order to give their best.

We felt the need of making such promises to ourselves when we heard the two tiny heartbeats for the very first time. The happiness that ushered in, was immediately marked by anxiety, nervousness and confusion. We knew we would love our kids unconditionally, but our mind was still clouded by some major doubts- how would we manage two kids together? Would we be able to do justice to both? What if we become partial to one? What if we unknowingly neglect one? What if we fall into the trap of comparison? How would we deal with the world who would always compare our twins?  

Hence, to be are prepared to deal with all sorts of situations and make our parenting journey easy, we devised our parenting mantra that included the following-

1. Creating a good value system

It’s very important to create an environment that helps kids to imbibe good values naturally. Both me and my husband believe in making our kids know the ‘why’ of things that helps them to value and respect what they have. We always ensure that we create such a system at home that enables them to learn gratitude and encourage them to be humble.

2. Follow what we preach

Kids learn by examples and who could set better examples for them other than the parents! As a family, we believe in modeling the desired behavior. We speak/behave in the way we want our kids to reciprocate and so far this has been working really well for us.

3. Encourage independent thinking

We want our kids to think independently, express themselves well and assert their choices. Since they are twins, the chance for them to be influenced by each others opinion would be high. And so we plan to raise them in such a way that each is capable of taking his/her own decisions. Though young, we still try to ask them about their individual choices, likes and dislikes and ensure that they get what they choose for themselves.

4. Avoid comparison

A n A

When there are two kids of same age in a house, the urge to compare is but natural. Each child is unique and so it’s all the more important for us to be conscious of this fact and resist this urge. We realized this fact pretty early and it has only helped to maintain our sanity as a parent of twins.

5. Nourish individuality

My kids have completely opposite personality traits. One is shy and clingy, the other is an  independent little explorer. Hence their needs, choices and interests are also very different from each other. So while everyone around tries to find some similarities between them, considering they are twins, we try to understand and respect their individual differences. We even spend some quality time with each child alone just to have that one-on-one connection.

6. Nurture the sibling bond

Parenting Mantra

Both A n A( Aarav and Aarohi) have a wonderful tuning. They have a unique connection that surprises us in many ways. Their giggles and endless cryptophasia (their private language) simply makes our day. And so we do our bit to nurture this connection in whatever way we can to help it remain special.

7. Let kids be kids

They fight, they play, they create mess and do everything that irritates us. But at the end, we as parents try to be mindful about the fact that they are kids and will act their age. We try to be conscious while placing our expectations on them and allow them to learn their way.

 

My husband and me keep reminding each other of these promises and in all situations we try to follow them. This not just helps us to enjoy as a family but also makes our parenting journey less complicated.

 

Enjoyed reading My Parenting Mantra? See what our next blogger mom Priyadarshani who blogs at Rattlebabblebattle says about her Parenting Mantra. Also, don’t forget to leave a comment here and share your opinions. We are all ears. 

 

Also read: Do Not Sacrifice For Your Kids: Simply Live and Let Live 

 

Dealing With A Clingy Baby: My Experience And Learnings

All babies undergo a phase when they are super clingy and just don’t want to leave their mumma’s lap. For some kids this phase is short-lived, but for a few others it’s a prolonged one. Mine is a latter case. I have twins, out of whom one is a clingy baby.

While my girl is a little independent and would manage to explore things around all alone, my boy is a super clingy baby. All he wants is to be carried all day. He needs his mom to be by his side all through. Even while sleeping he doesn’t leave my lap. I try to sneak out thinking he is asleep. But the minute my feet hit the floor, his eyes start to blink and his familiar wailing begins.

Handling such a baby is tough. And, more so because I have two to look after. While carrying one baby all day, I always feel guilty of neglecting the other.

On top of it, I have been at the receiving end of a lot of criticism, judgment and even unsolicited suggestions, in the past:

1. You are spoiling your child by giving in to his demands all the time.

2. You are being over protective. Your child will never become independent if you carry him all the time.

3. Let the kid cry. That helps to develop his lungs.

4. Kids cry all the time. You can’t be giving in everytime.

5. Go away from the child. You being around all the time makes him want you all the more.

6. Leave the child alone. That ways he will learn. You seem to be emotionally very weak.

7. It’s not the baby who is clingy. It’s you who cannot stay away from the child for long.

8. And the worst of all, it’s your breast milk that makes him stay on your lap all the time. You probably breastfeed him a lot.

All such opinions ended up creating more distress for an already worried mother in me. So one day I decided to know, read, learn and understand everything about clingy babies.

 

Why Is A Baby Clingy

While there could be several reasons for a baby to be clingy, a few basic ones could be-

1. Separation Anxiety

In the early months of life, kids have no concept of independence and so they consider themselves and their mother as one. Gradually, as they grow, they realize their mother is a separate individual and this thought overwhelms them. That’s when babies do not want to go away from their mums. They need their presence around them all the time.

Read more about Separation Anxiety here. 

2. Development Changes

All babies experience clingy periods when big changes in their development occur. Be it phases like teething, or achieving milestones, they take time to adjust and hence seek more comfort which they get only from their moms.

While the reason could be any, what’s to be assured about is that these clingy stages in a baby’s life is developmentally normal and appropriate. It’s actually a sign that the baby is making progress.

How I Deal With My Situation

1. Ignore the world and follow my heart

A mom of a clingy baby attracts people’s attention all the more. She is most susceptible to judgements and even suggestions. To maintain my sanity, I always ignore what people opine about me or my ways of dealing with my child. As far as suggestions are concerned, I practice the ‘filter policy’. Simply filter between what’s positive and what’s not, between what is followable and what’s not.

2. Always be there for my child

I believe in giving that attention, comfort and support that my son needs. Simply because, attachment fosters independence not dependence. Leaving him distressed, to cry and settle on his own only worsens our situation. However being with him, diverting his mind, cuddling and comforting works well as he feels secure and assured that no matter what, his mom is always by his side.

3. Believing it is a temporary phase

It’s certainly not easy managing the household chores while clasping a clingy baby to my hips all the time. It’s exhausting both physically as well as mentally. But at the end of the day, I believe in the fact that it’s just a phase, which may be tough but is not endless. It, too, shall pass.

4. Babywearing

I call my son a ‘velcro baby’ as he is always strapped around me. Wherever I go,  he accompanies. Babywearing adds to our comfort as I go hands free and my baby peacefully enjoys the rhythm of my heartbeat.

5. Explaining the baby

Talking out to the baby always helps, even when we think that he is not able to understand. In situation when I have to leave my son in care of someone else, I prefer telling him goodbye and leave, than sneaking out behind his back. Explaining him that I will be back in sometime helps to do away with his fear that his mom will never come back.

6. Sleep talking

I try sleep talking with my son when he is half asleep. I say all the positive sentences like’ Mama is always with you’, ‘Mama loves you a lot’, ‘Mama is always going to be by your side’, etc. Speaking such affirmative sentences feed his unconscious mind with some positivity that may help to reduce his insecurities.

A clingy baby is not a problematic baby. It’s just a baby’s way to learn and deal with his surroundings. And so such a baby doesn’t need rolling eyes of people around. All he needs is to be felt secured and loved. This will not just give him confidence to strike out on his own but will also help him emerge as an expressive person.

Also Read: Dilemmas Of A Mother of Twins